So, we have a family wedding coming up in a few weeks. First, a disclaimer…I’m absolutely delighted for the bride and groom. Happy to be attending, and really, I’m very supportive of everyone involved!

But…

I’ve been in pre-wedding mode for weeks now. Never mind that the spotlight is on the bride. What am I going to wear? And do I have time to diet away my ever-present five ten seven pounds that tend to show up in the least desirable places? Wonder if I could do it in an intense weekend of air and water? (You know, that’s the diet plan heavy on the air, light on the water.) I’m not worried about healthy…this qualifies as an emergency diet…just going for effect here. I always think I’m going to start this process well in advance, but as time dwindles down, I begin to make bargains with myself…I’ll workout EVERY day. I promise. I’ll skip ALL desserts. I promise. I’ll eat ONLY protein, no carbs. Well, there’s obviously a pattern here. Probably should have started this last year. Clearly, I need a personal trainer who will stand over me and take the chocolate from my hand. Who says it’s easy to lose five ten seven pounds? Hardest thing in the world if you ask me! It’s stressing me quite a bit already, as you might imagine. But I figure…I can accomplish a lot with two weeks of being strict with myself. Right now I’m in pre-diet mode. Contemplating it. Thinking about it. Looking at my favorite Pinterest food pins to sort of get it out of my system. Because once I start down the path of air and water, (no chocolate!) I have to maintain it pretty much throughout the event. You don’t want to have a premature launch when you’re facing that kind of commitment.

So…

Here’s the likely picture of the big day. Riley is the flower girl (Stephanie’s hoping that isn’t a mistake…you know two-year-olds…could be a lovely showing, or a meltdown that would frighten the Huns). That means Stephanie will be focused on Riley, and that leaves me with Jack. (Matt is staying in Seattle, happily sadly not getting to attend the out-of-state event. I think he’s just pleased that he’s not going to be flying with a toddler and an infant, but maybe I’m misjudging.) Rob prefers to do his bonding with kids once they can walk, so I’m guessing I’ll be holding the baby, and he’ll be standing just far enough away to miss any potential splatter impact. That’s ok with me…if I position Jack just right, I may not have to worry about that pesky dieting. Regardless, I can see it now. I should choose a dress that goes well with baby formula. I already know I’ll be wearing it at some point.

Well…

Rob says the main thing is to witness the event, smile for the photos, and deliver the gift…I think I can do all that without a problem. Got the gift, and I’ll be smiling. Now I just need to find a dress…hmmm…shoes…jewelry….jacket? Wedding’s in March. Purse? Appointment for hair cut…Good thing I’ve got a few weeks yet. Or maybe I’ll just go shopping for an oversized baby blanket and Jack and I’ll wear the same thing. That’s the plan…a soft baby blue for the two of us. Nothing like babies and weddings, huh?

Uh oh…

Now this is a sobering thought…may need to reconsider my dieting plan…this would be just my luck!

When we lose twenty pounds… we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have!  We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.  ~Woody Allen