I paid a bill tonight. Oh, not online as I usually do. And it wasn’t a Visa bill or a car payment. It was a life bill. The kind that presents itself unexpectedly.
I’ve owed this payment for a while now.
A young friend, a woman I know from the small church fellowship I attend, had dinner with me this evening. Rob is out of town…I’m spending the week working and home alone. She and I had talked a few weeks ago, said we should get together sometime. When I got back to Ketchikan on Monday, I called and suggested dinner this week.
So tonight, she came over, and we sat and talked. We talked about life, and marriage, and choices, and inspiration. We share a love of quotes, and discussed writers who motivate, favorite books and websites.
She had a need, and maybe I did too. She had a need to hear what I could say, and I had a need to pay a bill. To pay forward the generosity and sharing of so many women in my life who have sat with me and listened and rained wisdom on my circumstances. These conversations helped shape my thoughts, gave me hope, held me up.
And I believe, in a small way, that I paid a little of that debt tonight.
My young friend is strong and big-hearted. She’s motivated. She knows what she wants. She just needs encouragement to do what she already knows to do. She needed to talk and be heard by someone who could listen; really listen.
I told her a bit of my story, some of the ups and downs of my life. I told her what had worked for me: strategies to get over the rough times, the times when you question and second guess and wonder if you’re doing the right thing or if you’re just too weak to do it differently. And I began and ended by saying clearly: I have not figured it all out. I don’t have all the answers.
But this I know: I am a better woman today for the struggles I’ve experienced. And now, memories of the hardest times are as sweet as memories of the best times. Because without the one, there could not be the other. The struggle created the better me, and the better me, the Sheila that so needs grace in life and drinks it in like water in the desert…that Sheila knows the value of the struggle in a way that the younger and untried version of myself could not have understood.
So, I paid forward. To those women out there reading this who have sat beside me and been a bridge to now…thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t know where your legacy may end. But I believe we created another link in the chain. And one day, maybe years from now, my friend of tonight will be the one realizing that she is paying forward, sharing with a next generation the wisdom of women who came before.
It is a priceless heritage. I’m proud to be a part, and to have paid a small portion of the bill I owe.
Thank you, Sheila, for sharing!!!
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Thank you to you! One of the ones who gave to me…passing it on! ~ Sheila
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I know what a blessing it was to that young gal to have you share your life experience wisdom with her, and to really listen and hear what she needed to say because I have also been on the receiving end of grace-filled conversations with you. Keep being a blessing! 🙂
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We never know who we’ll be given…! I love this story. It’s so very full!
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Yes, fun to be surprised isn’t it?! ~ Sheila
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I showed this post to my (10 yo) daughter, and after she read it there were tears in her eyes.
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Thank you William, that’s a lovely thing to share! I’m so humbled that it touched her. Just a reminder that we all need each other! ~ Sheila
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Speaking of ‘Paying Forward,’ Alethea Johnson, my eldest daughter (49) is currently the ‘Zoning Clerk’ at the Ketchikan Gateway Borough Planning Department. I have a feeling that you might enjoy meeting each other. 😉
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I would love to meet her! I’m going to be out of town again this next week, but I’ll get in touch when I get back. That would be fun! Looking forward to it! ~ Sheila
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It’s not about money is it… just an opened heart …being there in that moment when a need is met…How wonderful is that!
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No…money doesn’t enter into at all…but I do like the concept of “pay it forward!” Maybe a good reminder that the biggest debts in life are not money-related at all. ~ Sheila
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exactly…I have had friends that have been in line at a fast food place and in line at the grocery store…and someone paid for their purchase…Nice thought!
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I do think it is good to share with those who are likely going through things that we have a perspective to perhaps help the other person…. Diane
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Yes, exactly right! Sometimes the only ones I can hear are individuals who have been in my shoes…they have credibility to address my issues. And it is encouraging to see others who have worked out solutions to the very problems I face. Blessings to you! ~ Sheila
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What a beautiful and heart-warming post. You have such a lovely way with words – I love the image that “raining wisdom” conjures up. I’m so glad I read this today, you are paying it forward a second time by inspiring those who read this to embrace the struggles on the path to a better version of ourselves.
Cat
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Thank you, Cat! What a sweet compliment! As I said in the post…I’ve had a lot of help! So whenever, however, I can share…well that just adds to the whole thing, doesn’t it? There’s truly nothing better than giving. Blessings! ~ Sheila
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Good on you for listening, being in the moment, and sharing what really matters!
MJ
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Thank you MJ…by the way, although we’ve never sat together personally, you are one of the ones I was thinking of when I wrote the post. Words of wisdom are powerful, whether shared verbally or digitally. You pay forward on a regular basis! ~ Sheila
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aww, thanks, that is very kind of you. And I would love to sit down together, wouldn’t we ever have fun?
🙂 MJ
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Reblogged this on On the Homefront and commented:
Something we should all do……………………….
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Thank you! That was so sweet! And yes, mentoring, sharing is important for each of us to do as we have ability…this seemed unique in that I didn’t really know this young woman very well…most of my opportunities to reach out come through friendships and family relationships that are well established. This was a little more intentional. But all good!
~ Sheila
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all very good – you are an inspiration
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beautiful post – what a lovely way to pay it forward
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I’m sure your young friend appreciated all that you shared with her! We’re all in this together, after all.
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Yes, we’re in it together! That’s the best isn’t it? I feel blessed, and I know you do too. ~ Sheila
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