Month: January 2013

Scary week

/ Sheila / 26 Comments

Baby Jack gave us a scare this week. It started out as a cold, nothing serious. Stephanie took him in for a check on Monday and was reassured…nothing to be alarmed about. By Wednesday morning he wasn’t eating and his breathing was labored at times. His noon appointment at the pediatrician’s office turned into an ambulance transfer to the emergency room, then a second ambulance transfer to a neonatal intensive care unit. The diagnosis was pneumonia, caused by RSV.

A few days on oxygen and he’s doing better…eating again, respiratory rate is stable again, and hopefully he’ll be released early next week. Rob and I go down on Tuesday, and I can’t wait to see him. This little guy has stolen my heart…well, he had it from birth. And after this week, I’m ready to see him in person.

Baby Jack

Baby Jack

The energy of hope

/ Sheila / 16 Comments

There’s a famous saying: “Where there’s life, there’s hope.” I think you could almost say that without hope, we cease to live. We may be breathing, but we’re not living.

Hope and energy are intertwined. I remember my grandmother, Theola, often saying that she hoped to get to her quilting, or her flowers, or some chore outside. As she grew older, she was often short of energy. But I never knew her to be short of hope. She was a woman of simple goals and great faith. Her world was small by most standards. But she was a well-spring of hope.

I saw the loss of hope in my dad when he began to lose his life to cancer. It wasn’t fast, and it was hard to watch. I would visit and try to encourage him, to infuse him with energy and strength and expectation…to bring back his hope. But I couldn’t do it. My mom couldn’t do it. He had hope for life after death. But he couldn’t hope for this life anymore.

Hope is the positive face of a to-do list. When my dad was dying, he wasn’t making plans for next week. Plans are for the living, and they require expectation of fulfillment, and energy to accomplish. Hope is fuel and food to the spirit.

“It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee.”
― Nicholas Sparks

I hope so many things. I have hope for personal dreams, for family, for health, for good things to come. I hope for those I know and love, and hope for those I know only a little, or not at all. Hope is an active and intentional desire. It isn’t neutral. When you express hope, you feel strongly. You believe in what you hope for. Sometimes we wish with all our hearts. We hope to high heaven. We have high hopes. We dream big. Hope sustains us. It is a force of the universe.

Hope is such a little word, and so casually used. I think we forget how important this small four letter word is to life. Hope is looking forward, not behind. Hope is positive, not blind. Hope acknowledges grace and potential. With hope, possibilities are all around. Hope allows the story to write itself, work itself out in good time. Hope reminds me that sometimes things happen
not at once, but at last.

I remember hearing my dad say that he had a hard time going to bed; he always hated to give up the day. He and my mom were often up late, working on projects, pursuing their hopes. She still works late at her desk. I’m more of a morning person. But whichever end of the day you find inspiring, the thing nudging you out of bed or keeping you up past your bedtime…it may look like work. But I believe it’s really hope, disguised in everyday garb. Hope keeps us going, whispers that it will be worth it…plants a seed-thought of what’s next.

“Everything that is done in this world is done by hope.”
― Martin Luther

My One Word

/ Sheila / 8 Comments

I’m trying a new approach to resolutions this year. Following the ideas outlined at MyOneWord.org I’m choosing a word to focus my energies and goals for the year.

My one word for 2013 is “momentum.” Last year, I used the term “re-vision.” My intent was to revise myself…to embrace change in how I work, and the rhythm of life, and I believe I’ve been successful in doing that…I’ve created a beginning, and now I need to fuel it. I’ve done a mini-launch…now I need to find my power and really get going.

In 2012, I worked just like my husband does…full-time in blocks of two-to-three month increments, then I take block time off. I didn’t gain ground financially, but I didn’t lose either. I proved to myself, for the first time ever, that I can generate work that works for me…at least in terms of pace and timing. I’m still working on generating work that is creative and self-directed. But that’s a longer process, and a larger goal, so I’m content to take my time to get it right.

That’s what this year will be about. I’ve demonstrated to myself that I can survive in a non-traditional work life. Now I need to take the things I’ve learned…am still learning…and find a way to translate a non-traditional work life to a more entrepreneurial role. That’s the next level for me. I want to create my own work, to be my own employer.

I’ve got lots of ideas, but so far most of them would require a physical presence. I’ve thought of everything from a bakery to a personalized “to-do” service to digital editing, writing and project management. But the reality is that I need to create a flexible and portable vehicle…not something that will tie me to a brick-and-mortar business, or a clientele that is specific geography-based.

I’ve explored writing and digital publishing, and while that continues to hold the most interest for me, it is also intimidating. I need reliable income. I don’t mind it being a little erratic. But the writing business can be very slow indeed if you don’t measure up…and you can invest a lot of time and energy before you have that reality check. So while I’m not losing sight of this one, I’m not putting all my eggs in this basket.

Regardless of direction, the important thing is movement. That sounds counter-productive. Don’t I need to know the exact goal I’m working toward rather than seeing movement itself as a marker of success? But I believe I’ll define my direction as I progress. I don’t know if I can explain it clearly in words. But in my head, it makes perfect sense.

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.  ~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.

So…a year of momentum. Got my dancing shoes on!

My brownie quest is DONE!

/ Sheila / 9 Comments

I’m a brownie lover…and who isn’t? Very few people can resist warm chocolate, gooey, dense, fudgey…well, there may be a few citrus lovers out there who rate tart higher than sweet, but I’ll ignore that for this post.

I have a few favorite recipes, each unique, and each fitting a specific kind of brownie need. After years of tasting, testing and searching, these are my top five:

  1. My newest discovery is so dense and fudge-like you could almost think you’re eating fudge. But you’re not. You’re eating heavenly Brown Butter Frosted Kahlua Brownies. This is a slight adaptation of the recipe I found on Pinterest. If you want to go chocolate all the way, substitute a good chocolate frosting for the brown butter shown here. I’ve only made this as given, but however you choose to frost, follow the directions for the brownie base closely. The instructions are a little fussy, but so worth it!  Check out Brownies with Brown Butter Frosting and get ready for the smiles all around.
  2. An old standby, this one is the perfect brownie to serve warm and gooey with ice cream. I usually bake this in a pie dish and serve wedges of it like a crustless pie. But this slice is just a brownie in another shape. One nice thing…you get all this delicious fudginess with baking cocoa as the only chocolate ingredient…no fancy imports required! Try Hershey’s Fudge Brownie Pie with a scoop of caramel ice-cream and a sprinkling of walnuts for comfort in a spoon.
  3. A crowd pleaser (used to be a hit with my kids’ youth group)…an oldie but a goodie: Texas Brownies. These are frosted, but a little more cake-like than fudgey. They whip up easily, frost beautifully, and the recipe makes a jelly roll pan full…perfect for a big party or summer picnic. Enjoy Texas Brownies when you want to feed a crowd, or have a really big craving.
  4. For a nod to banana bread, try these luscious and tender Banana Brownies. They are scrumptious! I could eat an embarrassing amount of these, warm and fragrant, right after they’re frosted. Enjoy Banana Brownie Bars and get a little fruit in your brownie serving. With some clever rationalizing, you could even convince yourself that these are healthy!
  5. And finally…I wasn’t really going to leave the citrus crowd high and dry. This recipe for lemon brownies (I know…should be a different term…yellowies?) gives you the perfect texture with all the goodness of sweet and tart. For a totally different take on the “brownie” experience, whip up a batch of Lemon Brownies.

My best brownie baking tip…Never, never, never over bake! And, unless you’re baking for a party, plan to make your treat when you have an easy and automatic way to share…take them in to your office or a school function, or share with a neighbor. My strategy when I bake: divide and enjoy. I satisfy my need to bake and taste, and I get the extras out the door. A win for everyone!

Home again, home again!

/ Sheila / 8 Comments

I blew in this morning in a gale. My flight was delayed, the wind and rain were ferocious, and I felt like I was wet through by the time I got unloaded. After a week in baby-land, it’s back to reality, work, and home…home being Rob, not a geographic location.

I talked to Stephanie tonight, and heard the sounds of two-week-old baby Jack sleeping near the phone…the little sighs and noises…I could feel his tiny body stretch and wiggle, just like I have for the past week. I miss him already. I miss his newborn softness, his fresh-from-heaven look. I miss his scent.

But the reality is, I’m not cut out to do the solo act. I had a divided heart last week…part of me glad to be with this new little being, and part of me sad to have left Rob behind working (work camp, we call it). Clinics do not shut down because a new baby arrives.

We’ll be down again the end of this month, and I’m looking forward to that. I’m really looking forward to that. We’ll go together, and we’ll experience together. And because we’ll be together, even though we’ll be far from our address in SE Alaska, I’ll be home. Home is where the heart is, and I’ll admit, pieces of mine are somewhat scattered through time zones and states. But the biggest piece of it is with Rob. Just as it should be. It is good to be home.

Baby Jack