Life skills

Overbuyer or underbuyer?

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

I’ve had a different pace this week. After sitting in training sessions all day, by dinner, I’m done. Not much creativity left, and not much energy either. Fortunately, I brought some books with me so I could shift into a different gear and relax in the evenings.

My book strategy is two-pronged. I have downloaded digital selections, and a couple of printed books, to cover those times when I can’t have my digital source open…part of flight time, or when my battery is low. Choosing to download a book rather than buy a printed copy is somewhat random for me yet. But I think I’ll continue to find that it’s good to have multiple options.

I have about a dozen books in progress at the moment, everything from technical how-to manuals to more philosophical works, and then one that’s easy reading, on a seemingly simple subject. But I’m finding it surprisingly thought provoking. I’m reading The Happiness Project, which I’ve referenced in earlier posts. The author, Gretchen Rubin, says she was happy. But she believed she could have more happiness, and she worked through a variety of month-long experiments to test her theory that changing certain behaviors and attitudes could add up to an increase in satisfaction with life and generate more happiness for herself and those around her.

Gretchen set goals for a year long project, and each month she tackled a different aspect of living, with strategies to improve behavior, habits, and mindset. I’ve picked up some tips, and about half-way through the book, have plans for my own project. But most of my ah-ha’s have more to do with method than with concept.

One month Gretchen focused on her relationship with money, and some of her insight resonated with me. She recognized that some people are overbuyers…buying multiples of things, buying gifts to have on hand for future recipients, buying well in advance of need. Underbuyers are the opposite, of course. Underbuyers buy in small quantities, and tend to have more of a “just in time” mentality. There are pros and cons, whichever camp you find yourself sitting in.

Imagine my surprise to recognize I’m an underbuyer. Being an underbuyer is not the same thing as being frugal. It means you are comfortable having a four pack of toilet paper in the cupboard, rather than the Costco size package of toilet paper rolls. It means you buy gifts when they are due, and for a specific recipient, rather than stocking items to have on hand. It means that you buy when you need, rather than out of impulse. At least this is my definition, culled from Rubin’s discussion.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, if your buying style is creating issues…storage overflow, or running out of necessities, you might want to determine which style is more you, and then adjust choices that are tripping you up. The point is not that one style is better than the other. It is about making your life work and being more efficient in how you buy. I also think this is an area of money management that is less about how much you spend, more about how you spend. Example: you may actually spend more for less product by buying at the last minute, or in smaller quantities, rather than buying in bulk, for a better price per unit. Or you may create distress for yourself or family members by running out of some necessity before you restock. Conversely, you may get a great deal on food items at a grocery sale, but if the items go out of date before you use them, did you really save money? Or do you find yourself paying for storage space to store all the great deals you’ve picked up?

I immediately recognized overbuyers in my family. There are benefits of being an overbuyer, the most obvious one being that you don’t run out. You are your own supply closet. And overbuyers tend to have more options available at their fingertips without having to shop for specific items. I seldom have all the ingredients of a recipe on hand without planning ahead. But overbuying also feeds clutter and waste.

The important insight for me is to think about habits from multiple perspectives. This question initially seems to be about money, but it is really about management of resources: time, space, and family needs, as well as money. No part of life is one-dimensional, and this is no exception.

The other realization I had is that if you are efficiently organized, either habit can work for you. Overbuyers who efficiently use their stock of food or other supplies won’t lose money tossing out dated product, and will manage their storage space to advantage. Organized underbuyers won’t run out because they have a list of what they need to replace.

If this sounds like too much thought on a subject that should be simple, just think about the extreme consequences of these behaviors. Underbuyers tend to cut things close, to wait till the last minute. Overbuyers probably have it, but may never find it. And in the most extreme cases of overbuying, you can see seeds of OCD behaviors that lead to traps like hoarding. That’s an extreme, but a scary extreme to consider.

So, I’m going to do some thinking about how I buy, and how those choices are impacting other aspects of my life. Maybe I can find the happy middle ground, neither running out of toilet paper at an inopportune time, nor needing to build on a wing to store my bulk buys.

Hide and Seek

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

I’m in gathering mode. I’m learning. What a challenge it is to reinvent yourself! I have a stack of books by my bed, I have more downloaded on my Kindle, and I’m finding new resources online through blogs and websites. Information overload! All this reading makes it hard to produce. One of the cardinal rules of writing is to write. Stay with it. Once again, I find that my blog has been on the back burner.

I like to think I’m a multi-tasker extraordinaire, but maybe I’m not…I tend to get a bit sidetracked by what I’m reading, get lost in the maze of discovery. I’m researching the process of writing a book here and here; reading about life mapping here and creating passion in life here; learning more about blogging and the digital world, here; and looking for mentors and events to broaden my horizon here. I’ve also picked up a couple of books that are (deceptively) simple “how tos” for increasing happiness here and getting along with others, here. More about these later.

I’m learning new programs, taking my conversion to Apple to the next level by working through the Pages and Numbers programs.

And I’m working relief for PeaceHealth clinics and taking on some project work on a contract basis for another organization. I feel a bit like I’m back in college, having a day job, and coming home to start a mental second shift. I’ve been ramping up to this for a while, but transitioning away from a full-time position in January has upped the stakes. I have a bit more freedom to concentrate on my own projects, but also more risk. I have to admit, I miss the regular check already, although I love not having to think about my leave balance when I make plans to travel.

All this makes me wonder…what’s really next? I committed to this path last summer…well, at least I committed to leaving full-time work at the new year. Hard to know where all of this will lead. I get conflicting messages. There’s the belief that if you don’t script out your life (life mapping) you’re in danger of wandering aimlessly without focus or clearly defined purpose. Some believe that your passion and your career work should be intertwined. Some believe that your passion does not necessarily reflect your skills…that your skills and your gift are not the same. I read something a few days ago that said that we don’t have to search for our passions, they find us. Just like we don’t have to work to know if we like a certain color or taste or music. We just know. That seems right, and yet, I don’t know. What I’ve learned is that the thing I’ve had the most passion for in my life, mothering, is now largely completed, at least in a day-to-day, hands on way. So while I’ll always be a mom, and I’ll continue to find joy and fulfillment in my evolving role as a mother, that is not going to be my life’s work at this stage.

Then the questions begin. I’ve always loved to bake. Maybe I have the seeds of a restaurateur in me. Or maybe I’m destined to help others find their own path, as soon as I’ve figured out the formula for myself. Or maybe I’ll find a way to become a writer and get paid for it. That’s the really sticky part. I’m looking for something I love, something I feel passion to do. And I need it to feed me…emotionally, professionally, economically. Sounds like a tall order. And yet, these stories are everywhere: people magically falling into something they love to do every day, and getting paid to do it.

Well, I’m sure this will continue to be a theme for a while. So far I have more questions than answers, and the gathering phase is only beginning. I think of all the clichés: if it’s worth having, it’s worth waiting for; it’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be worth it; never, never, never, never, never give up.

So off to work, then home to do some more work. Reading. Searching. Reinventing. Really, how can we expect kids just out of high school to know what they want to be? It’s a challenge at any age, unless you happen to be one of those blessed (or cursed, depending on your point of view) individuals who are so defined by their particular talent that they are compelled to be a painter, musician, author. I need a new category. Guess I’ll have to invent it myself, I’m not finding my particular passion in the standard line up.

This is a problem money can solve

/ Sheila / 10 Comments

Tonight we came home from work, and I discovered an unpleasant surprise: the load of laundry I had left going this morning had been washed with a tube of lipstick, and several things were ruined…or at best will only be salvaged with a lot of effort on my part. I think there are a few things that will be total losses. Since we’re in an apartment (for this work stint) that is somewhat sparsely supplied, there were no stain treatments with the laundry supplies. I drove back to the small grocery to see what options were available. I bought four different products, hoping that something would help.

After an hour of rubbing, scrubbing, soaking and working, I had made some progress. Enough to let the things soak while we ate dinner. While we were eating, we talked about our day, Rob in the back of the clinic seeing patients, me in the front, dealing with forms, schedules…the admin side. As I’ve said, I don’t do blood.

The other staff members are great; some of them have worked here a long time. They know everyone, and everyone’s story. I hear bits and pieces, put a few names and faces together. The last time we were here, I got a little taste of clinic life, the up close and personal view you get of patients when you sit at the front desk. But when I was here before, I was primarily training staff. I had limited exposure to the patients coming and going. Not so this trip. I’m working at the front desk, filling in until the new hire starts. It was a convenient opportunity. Rob was already scheduled to work, and it was nice that I could come along, and be paid to be here.

The view is different from the front. For the past five years, I’ve worked in healthcare administrative offices, hospital settings that put me in the healthcare arena every day. But in my role, I’ve primarily been involved with the business of healthcare. I’ve had almost no patient connection. The past few months, working with document management, and now sitting in the front office seat, I am seeing the patient population for the first time.

Of course I’ve known they were out there, real people with real illnesses. I’ve witnessed the healthcare system in a limited way for myself and my family. But we’ve been fortunate, and healthy, by and large.

Now I’m seeing, from a perspective I haven’t had before. Patients come in for everything from colds to cancer, broken bones to pregnancy. They come in all ages, shapes, sizes. This is a primary care clinic. Some patients’ stories are poignant reminders that life is fragile. Some are working the system…what can they get for pain? What diagnosis will get them a trip to a specialist in Seattle, conveniently paid by Medicaid? It is unbelievable, the parade that passes on a daily basis.

There are happy patients, women in for prenatal visits, or young parents with little ones for routine checks. There are older folks who come to be monitored for some condition, but who are generally well.

And there are the others…the ones with serious issues that usually can’t be fixed, or cured, or healed. They have too many complications, too many barriers, and many people are their own worst enemies. I often see references to behaviors that are creating the reasons patients come to be seen. But regardless of cause, self-inflicted or just an act of nature, it is a sad thing to look at people who are broken.

This afternoon I saw a man who is obese, can only walk with a walker, who looked hopeless, almost lifeless. He has a heart condition, but I don’t know what brought him in today. Regardless, he’s in bad shape. Then I saw his wife, who had come to pick him up. She is a cancer patient who had part of her jaw removed. It is unsettling to look at her. I found myself looking away, uncomfortable to see someone who has been literally defaced by her disease.

I sat tonight, eating dinner, frustrated at my own innatention to detail that allowed me to wash a tube of lipstick with the laundry. If I had only checked my pockets! And of course, several things I had recently bought were in that load.

But as we ate and talked, perspective grew. My thoughts cleared, and I realized, in the words of a friend, “this is a problem money can solve.” Worst case, I spend a little money to replace what I can’t salvage. The truth is, I’m as irritated at myself for causing the mishap as I am over the ruined clothes. I get impatient when I do foolish things.

Well, there are enough bumps in life to keep me appreciative of days that run smoothly. But no ruined laundry, fender bender, burned dinner…name your pet peeve…can compete with the sadness of serious illness, life-threatning disease, chronic pain. And so far, I’m blessed to be free of any of those conditions. So with that perspective, a little ruined laundry doesn’t seem too bad. Hey, it’s all replaceable or fixable, and non-essential. I mean no disrespect toward the value of money…I know money, or the lack of it, creates hardship too. But that’s another post. And still, in the big picture, things are just things.

I wish I could say I won’t need to be reminded of this again. But that isn’t true. I’ll be frustrated at some other slice of life in a few days, or a week or a month from now. And I’ll have to remind myself what’s important. Who’s important. And that if money can solve the problem, it isn’t really a problem after all.

News this week

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

I’m a reader, and I often stumble across references to things I never heard of before. These are some things I’ve recently learned about:
 
Square – a new company that allows merchants to accept credit card payments using their iPhone or iPad, or Android phone. The service is free to initiate, the company provides free apps and card readers. I purchased something from a merchant using Square last weekend. He swiped my credit card through the card reader attached to his iPhone. The signature field came up on his iPhone screen, and he offered to send a receipt to my phone. I had seen Square mentioned recently in a newspaper article, and had downloaded the app, and received the free card reader. It was fun to see it used in person. Now I just have to find a willing participant to let me swipe a credit card! The fee to merchants is 2.75% per swipe transaction.
 
Microloan – This type of investing was pioneered in third world countries to finance small businesses, often operated by women, with loans in the range of a few hundred dollars. Now microloans have come to the West, only the loans are slightly larger, typically in the range of a few thousand dollars. This article in USA Today explains. I was familiar with this concept used in developing countries, but did not know this is available closer to home.

Angel Investing –  I read about “angels among us” in a recent issue of Entrepreneur, and not being a business school graduate, was not familiar with this term. Turns out there are three kinds of investors for start-up companies. The first is “FFF,” also known as family, friends, and fools. The second category is angel investors, individuals who typically invest a few hundred thousand in exchange for partial ownership. The third type of investor is the well-known class of venture capitalists, who typically finance to the tune of millions of dollars.
 
Threading – This is a hair removal process, (see this explanation) originally practiced in India and other Eastern cultures. I was strolling through a mall in Seattle a couple of weeks ago and saw a threading kiosk. The staff…not sure if you would call them “threaders”…were practicing this art for removal of facial hair, eyebrow grooming, etc. I got my eyebrows done. I can report it tickled a little bit, made the tip of my nose twitchy, but didn’t really hurt. It ran about the same price as waxing, and seems to last as long. The woman who took my payment said there are threading kiosks in malls throughout Seattle. I believe she said they have eleven locations. What a great reminder that there is always something new (or new to me) on the horizon ready to establish itself in the marketplace!
 
Life mapping – I mentioned this in my last post. I’m just beginning to do a little reading on this topic, but basically, this is a systematic approach to help you determine what you want out of life…what your goals are, what you would like to change, and how to get from where you are to where you want to be. Using similar tools to those used to facilitate corporate strategizing and planning of mission and vision statements, the corporate speak is brought down to a personal level. I found some books on this subject through Amazon, but life coaches would definitely be another great resource to tap into if you’re curious.

Flipboard – Flipboard is an app that turns various internet sites like Facebook and Twitter into a magazine format presentation. On an iPad, you literally swipe to turn the “page” and move from one screen to another. It’s a fun way to view social media sites, and there are a variety of other services offered too…recipes, news…you can build your own Flipboard based on the accounts you add and, best of all, the app is free.

I have to say, given my choice of entertainment options, reading wins every time. You always learn something new, and the variety is endless. I never know where I’ll end up when I read. Something catches my eye, stirs my curiosity. One sentence leads to another, and suddenly I’ve discovered a whole new world. Or some obscure tidbit of knowledge. Either way, the fun is in the hunt, and in the range of discovery. And the vehicle for reading doesn’t matter…books, magazines, digital, paper…I can get lost in a Williams-Sonoma catalog, or immerse myself in theology; spend a few minutes reading about the latest technology, or become absorbed in ancient wisdom of philosophers. Reading is a gift of my childhood. Growing up in Asia in the 60s and early 70s, tv was not an option. Reading was the default pass time, and that has served me well. So glad I didn’t have a tv as a young kid. I might have really missed out!

January ReVision

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

So, two weeks since my last post. Seems longer than that! How quickly my rhythm is derailed by work, travel, and life pressing in!

The first week of January was a mix of work, two days in Ketchikan, two days at the clinic in Metlakatla. I’m doing some project work there, and I try to coordinate with Rob’s schedule when he is there. We came back to Ketchikan on the 7th and traveled to California last week, to give a helping hand with a family need that is brewing. Got home last night to begin another week.

While I’ve been distracted, I’ve been out of touch with my fellow bloggers, reading many posts, but commenting on none, and I haven’t made so much as a keystroke on my WordPress site. I’ve missed it, the little community of bloggers. (My community is small; of course the overall blogging community is enormous.) This happens to me on a fairly regular basis. When I travel, I’m an infrequent writer.

But not an infrequent reader. I’m researching my next phase in life, and here’s the plan: I’m going to test my services on myself. That’s right, I’m going to be my own first client. I want to create a business that works with people and organizations to reinvent themselves. Call it a mid-course correction. Just like I need. My term for this is ReVision. That works nicely with the writing concept, which always requires revision. There are so many lovely “re” words…renew, restore, repurpose, refocus, revive, redesign…all referring to some sort of do-over. Just like I need. The other piece that works nicely is the concept of vision. I need a new vision for my life. Rob and I want to make changes in how we work, how we live. He’s fueling us while I come up with a plan.

So I’ve been mulling over how to make this happen. How do I take the life experience and the education I have and translate it to a service that helps people reinvent…ReVision….themselves? I have hazy ideas. I see potential. I need to synthesize a lot that I’ve read, a lot that I’ve experienced, and a lot of possibility. I began to think if I could do it for myself, really make the changes I need, I could do it for others.

We’re beginning a process of life mapping and I’m reading a lot, everything from Entrepreneur magazine to recent books on happiness and fulfillment.

In the meantime, I’m working on a logo, business cards, putting together content for a website. I’ve created lists and lists and more lists. I’m energized and motivated. And I’m hopeful.

And wouldn’t it be nice if I’m successful? Oh, I’d like to be financially successful. That’s part of it. But more than that, I’d like the concept to be successful. Of course, there are consulting firms and life coaches already doing this. But this particular venture would be my own, would have my unique stamp. My unique vision. I’m curious to see how it turns out. I’m curious to know how the story will unfold. I need a new vision. I need a ReVision.

Intentional living

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

I’m thinking a lot about sustainability lately. What do I currently do, and what will I begin, that is sustainable? Not that everything in life should be sustained. Some things have a defined season, a limited time to be useful or even possible. But I’m growing more thoughtful about the habits and commitments I allow to take root in my life. Because, sometimes, even without intention, behaviors cling. Isn’t it funny how difficult it is to foster habits you want to acquire and nurture (think working out) and how easily you fall into habits that can sap your time and give little in return (endless internet browsing or channel surfing). Well, I’ve never had too much difficulty with TV, and can happily report that I rarely miss it since we cut the cable cord last summer.

But the internet…it just sucks me in. Sometimes I find things that are helpful, useful, inspirational. And sometimes I just drift among the sites that fascinate me. Pinterest, Houzz, Twitter, blogs…..where was I?

Yes, yes, intentional living. Well, to be more grounded in habits I want to foster in myself and encourage in others, I’m beginning a couple of journals…private, but intended to foster values that are important to me. First, I am beginning a gratitude journal. Hardly a new concept, and I think I already have a mindset of gratitude. But writing it down will make it clearer, and I hope will give visible proof that I am aware of the many good things and people that touch my life.

Second, I’m beginning a journal of kindness. I want to mark kindness and generosity from me to others, and from others to me. Why? Not to pat myself on the back, but to reinforce for myself that there is no limit to the ways we can spread thoughtfulness and a positive spirit. I hope by noting the acts and words of others toward me that I will be more aware of the ways people reach out to me.

I don’t want either of these journals/lists to be exhaustive. That would be exhausting, and would probably result in another couple of new year’s resolutions that would soon be abandoned. The point is to increase awareness, and I think noting even a few items I’m grateful for each day, or a few acts of kindness, will be enough to keep these things in the forefront of my thoughts.

A kindness journal, a gratitude journal…I think I can sustain these habits. I have a feeling adding these two brief to-dos to my daily routine will be inspiring and worth doing. And who knows what I’ll discover in the process?!

Happy New Year!

/ Sheila / 7 Comments

Yesterday I heard it repeatedly: “Happy New Year!” We’re all getting ready for the annual big crossover. A new year, filled with potential because the days are blanks, so far. We can’t believe 2011 has already come and gone…the months fly by. How is it possible?! I say these things, hear them all around me from others. Not everyone celebrates the same holidays. But everyone is subject to the calendar. The change of year impacts the whole planet.

So beginning tomorrow, I’ll start reminding myself to date my documents with “2012.” I’ll roll over the pages in my calendar and look ahead to the commitments already pencilled in for January. And I’ll be thinking of the changes I want to make this year. New Year’s resolutions are right up my alley. A list maker by nature, and someone who’s always inspired by challenge, it’s easy for me to come up with a plethora of items: “Next year…”

But here’s a twist on the whole resolution thing. What if resolutions were not just about making myself better? What if I use some of the space on my resolution list to include others? I do that already in a non-specific way. But this is a challenge to make it official.

Here’s some inspiration for you, if you’d like to make your resolutions more outwardly focused. Visit Resolution Twelve, a blog that posts and celebrates reaching out to others…groups, individuals, causes, you name it. This blog is not a charity or service that connects volunteers with needs. It is simply a vehicle for sharing goals for the coming year.

Obviously, you don’t have to post your outward-focused plan on this site to make it official or effective. But I think the value in posting somewhere, even on a list that lives at your desk or beside your kitchen sink, is accountability. Statistics say that most new year’s resolutions only last a few weeks. Wouldn’t it be nice if goals to reach out lasted longer? Maybe even changed your life?

Tomorrow I’ll be serving black-eyed peas with our dinner. Southern tradition says these peas bring good luck when you eat them on new year’s day. Not sure about that, but it’s an easy nod to heritage to serve a dish at dinner. As for that other tradition of sharing resolutions…well, there are some that are standard. Watch my weight. Be more productive. Be more organized. Listen more effectively. This year I’ll be adding a few other items, based on some of the suggestions from Resolution Twelve. I doubt that anything I do will make headlines or impact the world. But that’s not the point. The point is to make a difference, and that I can certainly do.

Last Friday of the year, last day of full time

/ Sheila / 9 Comments

Well, it’s finally here. If life goes as I’m planning, I’ll be in my office tomorrow for my last day of full time work. Not that I’m retiring…oh no, I’m at that awkward age…too young to retire, but old enough to be ready for a change in my work life. And definitely still in need of income…haven’t won the lottery yet, or made the proverbial fortune.

So I’m launching…I’m not quite sure what, just yet! There are ideas rolling around in my head…possibilities…I’m cushioning the first few weeks with some project work and relief work I had already lined up. But I’m also building in down time. I’ve discovered it is almost impossible to design a next step in life when you’re consumed by the commitments you’ve already made.

Some days I’m brimming with ideas and energy. And some days I’m scared. I haven’t been without income for twenty years, except for a few months here and there when we’ve made a geographical move. I’m also lucky. I have savings, and I have a safety net. Rob is able to keep us afloat while I sort myself out, so this is not going to be an experiment in Ramen noodle recipes.

I’m excited because I get to see what I can do, all on my own. I’m scared because I get to see what I can do, all on my own. If you’ve stepped away from the corporate security blanket, you know what I mean. I keep reading about all the entrepreneurs this economy is producing, and I hope I can soon be part of that group.

I’ve been a great employee, if I do say so myself. I take direction easily and work well with others. How can it be so frightening to take control of my own destiny and be the one in charge? I think it may be a matter of experience. I’ve only known what it is like to work in a corporate structure. The freedom and reward I’ve glimpsed are out there, somewhat obscured by the risk of solo flight.

Well, in a few more hours I’ll know. Or at least I’ll begin to know. Do I have what it takes? Can I transition to a self-starter? Here’s hoping! May the bridges I burn light the way! And may the future be bright!

See you on the other side of the new year! Happy 2012!

Grace and space?

/ Sheila / 10 Comments

Someone asked me, recently, about the title of my blog. I gave an explanation of “Grace and Space” in my first blog post. But that’s long buried in my archives at this point. So to answer the question of what that phrase really means, here’s the story:

A few years ago, when my son was 21 and we were having difficulties transitioning through some young adult issues, I had an epiphany one day: he needed grace from me, and space to be allowed to work out his issues. And that phrase has continued to have a useful place in my life, as I often feel that I either need these gifts for myself (from others), or I need to extend these gifts. Like most catchy phrases, it’s easy to say, more difficult to do in the grip of the moment, whatever the issue, and whoever the others involved.

The point of this blog is recognizing that there are many grace notes in life…some come from and through others, some just seem to be gifts that come when needed, and bring a smile, comfort, hope…or perhaps understanding. As most people instinctively recognize good things, recording these experiences may seem unnecessary. But I believe that when I consciously mark joys in my life, I increase their power. If the experience is one of personal luxury, I can repeat it when possible. If grace comes from someone or something as a random kindness or event, I can appreciate it more fully by acknowledging and being grateful for the gift I’ve received.

These bring a smile to my face: my family, a good book, a moving quote, a phone call or email from a friend, comfort food, shopping in a favorite store, sunshine…grace is all around us, in many forms. We have only to open our eyes to see, and our spirits to receive.

Always 11

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

It’s almost the witching hour…11:11 on 11-11-11. Of course we already had a minute of this time today…this morning, but I was at work, so for me that didn’t count. I’m marking my significant moment as the evening one.

You have to admit it’s a great number. Like wonderful alliteration with words, 11-11-11 is memorable, for oh so many reasons. Easy to remember, primary, and perfect numeric poetry, symbolism and magic, all wrapped up in one. Any way you express it, all wrapped up in 1.

Years ago when our kids were early elementary school ages, Rob played a math quiz game with them at dinner. He’d give different combinations of numbers using addition and subtraction, and they would do the math to give the answer. And the answer was always 11. That became a family slogan (I think the phrase is from a movie too, but I’m sure we had it first!) and we’ve been surprised at how often 11 has been a significant number in our lives. Not that we’re superstitious or anything. I mean, we’re not picking lottery numbers with 11; 11 is not my password. But it turns up often enough that I notice – and wonder.

Today is also Veterans Day, and as the mother of a veteran, a veteran looking for a job, it holds greater significance to me than in the past. I appreciate all veterans, but viewing my son in that role brings the day and the reason for the day into sharp focus. I wonder, do I only value things that touch me somehow? And the answer comes, reassuringly, no, but like anything in life, a personal connection increases awareness and insight. So I see veterans with new gratitude, new appreciation for sacrifices. I see differently because I see through my son.

So, an important day on the calendar: a date that will be easily remembered for the births and marriages that occurred this day…easily remembered for whatever happened. Hope you made a great memory, celebrated, jumped for joy over something in your life.

As for me? I was given a great gift today. Something I thought was arranged for future work fell through. I was disappointed, deflated, dejected. And then I realized: this loss will push me more toward the kind of work I really want to do. The opportunity that evaporated was a safety net, a little bit of a sure thing (so I thought) for my finances as I step away from a “regular” job. But the reality is that I need the push to be out there, to make my own way. So, though it wasn’t what I expected when I got up this morning, 11-11-11 delivered. And it will be memorable for me. The best part? A husband who has my back, who took me to dinner, and toasted with me to our connection, and to 11-11-11.