Wise words

I am a seeker. I seek inspiration for my day, motivation for the work at hand, and wisdom to guide my steps. Sometimes I find these things in the actions and character of people. Often inspiration comes through words. These are some of the words that encourage me today:

Keep trying!

How I want to see myself as successful! I admit, the first illustration is what I expect. The second seems more realistic!           

Happy Saturday, and may you find wisdom, courage, and hope for the day!

(All images from Pinterest)

The Fun Theory

I saw this video today and it made me think…wouldn’t it be nice if everything we should do was disguised as something fun? Of course that’s the point of the video. Enjoy!

The Fun Theory

Good advice!

A few new favorites…

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate. – Thornton Wilder

If you want to be happy, be. – Leo Tolstoy

The thing that is really hard and really amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.  – Anna Quindlen

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down.

You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own and you know what you know.  And you are the one who’ll decide where to go. – Dr. Seuss

Today is a new day. – Chicken Little

Earth’s crammed with heaven. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

She decided to enjoy more and endure less.

She was kind and loving and patient…with herself.

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at her. – David Brinkley

Anything you are good at contributes to happiness. – Bertrand Russell

A strong woman understands the importance of creating space for personal well-being, spiritual nourishment, and regeneration in order to maintain her authenticity, especially when the universe whacks her with its two-by-four and hands her days when it takes a great deal of courage just to show up. – Laura Folse

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.

She discovered that she was the one she’d been waiting for.

How does this help?

Several years ago I had a moment of ephipany. I was having a difference of opinion with someone and suddenly realized that what I was saying wasn’t helping us come to clarity or resolve the disagreement. I realized that my approach was not helping my cause. And suddenly the thought came to my mind, “How does this help?” If I had a goal, an outcome in mind that I wanted to reach, and my approach wasn’t bringing me to that outcome, how was it helping? It wasn’t.

That began a practice for me to filter my words and actions through that question. When I find myself in conflict with anyone and we don’t seem to be progressing toward resolution, I silently frame that question to myself. It helps me to step back, hear my words or see my actions through the other person’s ears and eyes. Obviously, if my persuavie argument isn’t working, it must not be so persuasive. How does that help?

I don’t mean that this approach should be from a manipulative perspective. If manipulation is the motivation, you may get what you want, but manipulation is always ultimately destructive and self-serving. No, this question should be framed from an unselfish and honest desire to seek the best resolution to conflict or difference of opinion. Only in that context can you truly seek the best for both sides.

Asking the question, “How does this help?” doesn’t guarantee that the problem will be resolved. Some conflicts don’t have resolutions that are positive for both sides. And no matter your approach, the other person may not be willing to put aside the conflict. But asking the question will help you honestly evaluate your words, your methods, your motivation. Asking the question is a filter that will help you seek other solutions, other persuasions, or perhaps, ultimately, change your own mind, see the other person’s point of view. And that can be an invaluable gift to both people.

It can be difficult to be honest about this, especially when your point of view seems like the only point of view possible. How can you step back, re-frame, look at a question from another perspective when you know you’re right? But that’s the point…the issue is not about being right or being more persuasive. When you’re trying to find resolution to differences, sometimes the solution is more about approach, method, and understanding. Sometimes it is about compassion, about empathy, rather than staking a claim to being right.

Sometimes I even come around to an opposite opinion from where I began if I have long enough to think before I rush to judgment. There are right and wrong absolutes in life. I believe that. There are some things that are never right, always wrong. But woven among the absolutes of life are many gray areas, and I recognize that more as I get older. When I was young, life was easy to define in absolute terms. But age, some wisdom, my own mistakes and missteps, and a lot of grace has taught me that things are not always what they seem at first glance. It was a long lesson to learn, but now it is ingrained in my thinking. It has become more natural to me to ask the question, and I am open to hearing the answer that comes from that honesty.

Try asking yourself, “how does this help?” The answer may surprise you.

Do you know “Flylady?”

I can already hear my family, and maybe even a few of my friends, begin to groan: not “Flylady” again! I first became acquainted with this site several years ago when I saw an article in a Denver paper profiling “Flylady” and her mission.

Let me explain: this is a site designed to help people who are challenged with self-organization in every way. If your home is cluttered, Flylady is for you! If you have difficulty getting your bills paid on time, Flylady is for you! If you are looking for exercise or encouragement to eat more healthy meals , Flylady is for you! This is a site that offers gentle and positive messages to people who need help overcoming self-defeating behaviors.

One of the nicest things about all of this encouragement is that it is free. There are various products that the site offers for sale, but there is no requirement to purchase to be an email subscriber. I don’t follow all the recommendations offered, but I have picked up some great ideas, and I love the positive attitudes of the people who host the site, as well as the enthusiastic subscriber comments. It’s a great virtual support group and members have the ability to be passive observers or as active as they choose.

Flylady is very family oriented and incorporates ideas for children as well as adults. The tools and suggestions work for everyone:  married, single, young, old, empty nester, or in the thick of child rearing.

One of my favorite phrases from the site is “Progress, not perfection.” There is an anti-perfection message at the heart of the Flylady system that emphasizes the crippling nature of that spirit. The goal is to recognize that doing your best is doing enough, to respect and value what is being accomplished rather than to focus on what may yet need to be done. This is the positive, hope-filled, and an empowering message of the site. Look beyond the graphics (a bit corny for my taste) and let me know what you think.