Joys

Mindful and grateful: Happy Thanksgiving!

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

Gratitude is truly an amazing habit. The spirit of thankfulness works to soften and soothe, helps me see the good all around me.

Practicing gratitude, I am mindful.

Practicing mindfulness, I am grateful.

Today I’m thankful for the way life gives unexpected joys. I’m grateful for time with family and friends, health, enough work to stay busy, enough quiet time to find inspiration.

I’m thankful for for the steady presence of voices and faces in my life that enrich and encourage.

I’m thankful, as I cook in my son’s somewhat spartan kitchen, for the gifts of tradition, ritual, and surprise. Moving out of my comfort zone, living without all my stuff for the past year, has shown me that I can do all sorts of things, without the gadgets, without all the known and familiar.

What’s known are the faces, and the memories of place, and history. What’s familiar is the love, and the laughter.

The surprises sometimes come in the form of something forgotten…like a main ingredient to a once-a-year dish. Sometimes the surprises are the spur-of-the-moment decisions that become the best part of the day…stopping to capture a photo at just the right moment, or a conversation that goes right to the heart, and warms me to the core.

The beautiful scenery in the mountain west gives me one more thing to appreciate, this Thanksgiving. The sunsets and the blue, blue sky…so beautiful!

IMG_0073IMG_0075

This weekend we’ll do some driving, looking at familiar sites, and recalling when we lived here, the Colorado front range the backdrop of the every day, and yet never taken for granted. When I have the chance to be here now, I drink it in, and revel in the magic of the grand peaks, the colors, the seasonal cold, the white of snow.

Mostly I’m thankful that this was the setting for family, and for memory making. I’m thankful for lessons learned, and joys re-discovered, for the people that make it all possible.

I wish the same for everyone…gratitude, mindfulness, peace, and joy. Happy Thanksgiving!

~ Sheila

 

 

 

 

No books for me

/ Sheila / Leave a comment

Tonight I wandered aimlessly through Barnes and Noble, looking at titles, thumbing through pages from favorite authors. The covers were enticing, the smell of books and the order of shelves and aisles calming and soothing. I love the quiet and sanctity of bookstores.

I wandered through the store and finally left with nothing.

Not.One.Book.

I’ve been an avid reader as far back as I can remember. I would rather read than watch anything. I read for pleasure, information, inspiration, and to relieve boredom. I’ll read the cereal box at breakfast rather than stare into space.

Did I mention I’m a reader?

But I find a curious thing happening to me lately.

I still love to read, and there’s always more great material to absorb. Of course, with Amazon at my fingertips, I’ll never be at the end of my author wish list, and no one ever gets to the end of books.

There are always more books to read.

But somehow…somehow…right now, I need to write my words before I read someone else’s.

That doesn’t apply to everything. I read blog posts and other short pieces. I read news articles and recipes. I read Facebook posts and my Twitter feed.

But what I’m not reading, at the moment, are books. I can’t settle with anything. It’s a strange place to find myself. Most of my life, books have been a comfort, or a guide, or both.

But now I find myself wanting to write my book, use my voice. I’ve dipped a toe in these waters before with a couple of short works. I fulfilled a little personal goal, to be an author, even if it was through self-publishing. That isn’t what this experience is about. There’s a gulf between the first two forays into writing books and this one.

This one is the fulfillment, not of personal ambition, but of a personal quest. I’ve struggled with the question of purpose all my adult life, and I’ve finally solved the mystery, to my satisfaction.

I’m writing my story, the story of how I answered the question of purpose for myself, and sharing how others can do it too.

It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t fast.

But it was worth the wait.

And isn’t that the best feeling? When you know…you know…you’ve solved your puzzle, your riddle, finally figured “it” out.

The book is coming along nicely, words pouring out. I may be writing for myself more than anyone else. I don’t know, can’t know, until it’s done and out there, and I see the response.

For now, it’s enough that I want to do this, and that I have the tools.

The book will be on Kindle, hopefully before the end of the year, my Christmas present to myself, to meet my timeline.

And I know I’ll be ready to read again…I’ve already got a few books waiting!

How to get a new laptop with the push of a button

/ Sheila / 8 Comments

Sounds too good to be true, right?

I promise that’s all it took!

Well…it only took a simple keystroke to shut down my MacBook Pro last week when I saw the spinning wheel of color, always a bad sign that something’s stalled. I gave it a few minutes, but eventually decided I would just shut down and restart. Much simpler than waiting out whatever was going on with the inner workings of my Mac.

It wasn’t meant to be a momentous choice. But you know how these things happen: you never see disaster coming.

A few minutes later, I realized my laptop wasn’t restarting like it always does. My familiar screens weren’t coming up, and I got on the phone with Apple support in short order. I was blessing myself for buying the service plan, and confidently, even smugly waited for all to be restored.

The friendly Apple guy was confident too, at first. We tried this key and that key, shutting down, simultaneously holding down various combinations of alphabet keys. (I always think I’ll remember what the tech guys have me do so I can fix my problems myself, but I never do.)

Everything brought me back to the same thing: a message saying FileVault had been activated and I needed the encryption key to unlock the computer.

That would have been simple, except that I didn’t have the key, or password, or whatever I needed. I went through two technicians trying to find a work around.

But there was no healing my situation.

Yes. I had very cleverly protected my files from everyone, including myself.

It seems in the last operating system download, I authorized FileVault. I’m sure I was breezing along and agreed to whatever the prompts suggested, but I don’t remember setting up any secret password. And no password I use on a regular basis for the plethora of sites that I’m on worked to open FileVault.

Nothing worked.

Soon the cheerful tech was giving me my options…I could go to an Apple store and get assistance with reinstalling the operating system, or I could do it myself. It would just require this one small step first. I would have to erase my current operating system, and with it, all my saved files.

The conversation went something like this….

Me, getting a little excited: “I’m in Southeast Alaska with no Apple store in sight, or in my near future, certainly not before I need this laptop to work.”

Tech: “Well you’ll be ok, you can get your files from your back up.”

Me: “I haven’t backed up in about a year.”

Tech: “Oh my…well back ups certainly save us. From this point on you’ll have a back up.”

I could hear his opinion through the phone. I think it was something like: “you poor sad idiot!”

I had a few files saved on iCloud, and anything that I access from web-based programs is fine. I could import my photos from my phone or other digital sources.

But I lost a lot of documents and downloads, most of which I can’t replace. I download PDFs all the time…there’s no way I could backtrack and find all I had saved.

Worse, I’m not entirely sure what all I lost. I know there were lots of fonts and graphics, recipes, words of wisdom, quotes…so much I’d accumulated over the last few years.

You know all those things that you run across by happy accident and you save?!

Yeah, that’s the stuff I lost.

All my work files are gone. Some things I had shared via email I can get back. But like the other things I’m missing, I really only know categorically what’s gone, I can’t recall item by item what’s lost.

At least I still have the three books I’ve written. I’d saved through the Cloud, though I didn’t save all my writing, not by a long shot.

The new install gave me back lots of storage space, and a chance to reinvent my digital world.

I’m slowly re-downloading programs, and finding bits and pieces I can restore from a variety of sources. It’s a painful process.

But the up side is I cleaned out a lot of old stuff, too, and I’d needed to do that for a while. I just didn’t expect to do it in a rush with the click of a button.

Live and learn. I like to think I’m savvy, that I keep up with all my passwords and I save appropriately. This taught me I’m not as careful as I like to think, and even though my laptop didn’t crash, and I didn’t lose it physically, being locked out by FileVault was just as effective at wiping me out.

So, I have a clean, new, almost empty computer. And I did not enable FileVault on this install. It turns out I’m a lot less concerned that my files will be breached, more worried about getting locked out again.

I’m in familiar territory though, being a cautionary tale (seems to be one of my callings in life) to remind fellow computer users: Back up! Back up! Back up! Oh, and unless you have state secrets to guard, save yourself. Don’t activate FileVault.

Saturday favorites

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

I’ve been collecting a few suggestions…in the spirit of paying it forward these are some things I’d recommend to everyone! 🙂

Getting ready to do some baking. I never get tired of playing in the kitchen! That’s why I hauled my Kitchen Aid mixer to this little apartment, along with a few other essentials. Here are a mix of my current favorites, both savory and sweet, tools and foods.

  • Parchment paper – what a difference this makes in baking. Easy clean up. I particularly love using parchment paper for baking brownies…leave a generous margin of paper hanging over the sides of the brownie pan and just lift out the brownies when baked. Easier to cut brownies out of the pan. When I first tried parchment paper, I was frugal, using it only for certain things.  Now it comes out almost any time I turn on the oven.
  • Silicone baking pans – I’m only beginning to use these, but what I’ve used so far I like. The added bonus: you can shape all sorts of stuff in these…handmade soap or other crafts. Multi-purpose!
  • Cauliflower “mashed potatoes” – I’ll admit when I make this version of the traditional mash I add a little butter and sometimes sour cream to the mix…the flavor is so good I hardly notice the substitution of cauliflower for potato. Best tip: if you want a little more body to your “mash,” add a small potato or two to the head of cauliflower. You’ll still have a lower carb dish, but it will be a little sturdier…maybe a good step down from the all-potato mash.
  • Big wide shreds of parmesan…I can sometimes find this wide shred in the grocery, usually in the specialty cheese section, but if you can’t find it, buy a gorgeous big hunk of parm and use a vegetable peeler to make your own wide, luxurious shreds to top pasta bakes, salads, or whatever needs a little more cheesy goodness.
  • A new favorite, I’ve only recently been roasting garbanzo beans, aka chickpeas. Delicious and simple. Start with two cans of garbanzo beans, drain and rinse. Spread the beans on a cookie sheet in a single layer. Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt, pepper, garlic, cumin, chili powder, or any seasoning that strikes your fancy. Bake/roast at 400° for approximately 30 minutes. I say “approximately” because you may want them to be more or less crunchy. My advice is to check the beans after the first 30 minutes and decide if they’re done to your taste. They’re like popcorn, only better. Good for snacking, and making salads more interesting.
  • Seattle Bakery Cracked Wheat Sourdough Bread…if you can find this brand, buy it! The sourdough flavor comes through with the crunchy nuttiness of the cracked wheat…delicious toasted with jam, or use for the perfect grilled cheese. This bread comes in a big round loaf. Beautiful.
  • Burrata cheese: If you haven’t tried this, you must do so, asap! It’s wonderful, that’s all.
  • My new favorite way to prepare salmon: searing. I used to bake salmon, if I wasn’t grilling, thinking it was the best way to keep it healthy. But I always have trouble with the timing. It seems like I pull it out too fast, or just past the perfect done-ness. I tried pan searing the fresh salmon we caught last weekend, and it was perfect. Just put a little olive oil or butter (ok, I always choose butter) in your pan, and when the pan is hot, place the salmon and season. I turned the fillet once, and got it just right. Not overdone, and the texture was perfect. Outside got a little color, and the inside was medium rare. Never baking salmon again!
  • Homemade Magic Shell: (this is just fun!)
    • 8 ounces of chocolate (I used semi-sweet chocolate chips)
    • 2 tablespoons of coconut oil

    Place coconut oil in double boiler over low heat and melt. Add chocolate chips to double boiler with the oil. Gently blend chocolate into coconut oil until smooth.  Let cool for a few minutes and then drizzle on your favorite anything. Perfect for dipping fruit. Bananas, strawberries, and grapes are my favorites. Made some frozen dipped bananas recently and can verify: highly edible! Also perfect for ice cream.

In the digital world, check these out…well worth exploring.

  • PicMonkey – a fun and easy photo editor…there’s a free version and a paid version, both are great. Good for creating printables or almost anything. Look here.
  • Best way to sell online…I call it a digital garage sale. Check out your local Facebook sale site. The one for Ketchikan is called Ketchikan SaleCycle, it’s a closed group for local residents…an amazing resource if you need something, or if you’re selling. I sold most of my furniture in the move last fall, and a lot of miscellaneous household items…made over $13,000 in just a few weeks. Of course, eventually I’ll have to replace some of those things, but it was a fantastic way to sell without doing a huge one day event that might or might not have gone well. And it’s fun too…actually sort of addicting once you get going. I like it better than Craigslist. I think most communities have a local Facebook sales group. Find the digital garage sales in your area and get ready to clean out!

And finally, some random suggestions:

  • A new favorite exercise…the Perfect Fitness Ab Carver Pro…It really works!
  • Looking to be inspired to say “No!” more often? I can’t say enough about Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. I read it a few months ago, and I’m still drawing on it as I consider choices.    I’m one of those people who finds it difficult to say “no.” Recognizing that saying “no” actually honors the real priorities of my life helps me to be strong in the face of my built-in need to please. Not always easy for this Southern girl/woman to do, but I’m trying to be more thoughtful and deliberate about my answers.
  • RSVP Endurance kitchen products: I love these tools. You can find them on Amazon or in specialty kitchen stores. They’re not too pricey, but all the ones I’ve tried are good. Very good. This is a brand like Oxo…great value for the money, and whatever they make is quality. The tools are a pleasure to use.

And finally, a smile for the day:

Organic Donuts

Enjoy your weekend!   ~ Sheila

The truth hurts; or…the truth will set you free

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

Last week was intense. I spent my days at a small retreat center in St. Helena, in Napa Valley, California. Does that sound stressful? No?

I took part in a residential program hosted by The Hoffman Institute.

Forty students and six teachers gathered to spend the week learning, sharing, exploring, and confronting.

Some were there to confront past relationships and family dysfunction. Others were there to discern direction for their lives. Still others were there to change self-image, or overcome fears.

All of us were there to confront ourselves, our patterns of behavior, and to grow in our capacity to love and be loved.

We followed a planned curriculum, working through concepts, tools, and experience.

It was a hard week, for some more than others.

The teachers were kind, the food was great, just as you’d expect from a retreat center in northern California.

No wine though, in case you think about going.

Our focus was on dealing with the past, in whatever form it held us back.

It turns out that a lot of my messages to myself aren’t really very helpful.

I know, it was hard for me to believe, too.

I’m such a positive person, so upbeat, really, so cheerful, so easy-going.

Well, I discovered some of that isn’t really true. I mean, I present it as true. I even live it that way. But it’s not how I really feel.

Example: I give myself, and others, a message that I’m a writer, but I follow that acknowledgement with some self-deprecating comment about “don’t look for me on the NY Times bestseller list any time soon!”

Why do I do that? I think it’s to put out there that I might not be successful…sort of like, if I acknowledge that possibility up front, then when I live up to that low expectation, no one is surprised, least of all me, and no one laughs at me for having grandiose dreams.

Whew! I saved myself from that one, didn’t I?!

Here’s another thing I do.

Sometimes I’m nervous about my relationship. When things feel tense or stressed, I sometimes say, “Are you ok?”

What I really mean is: “Am I ok? Am I safe? Are we ok?”

Funny how we use one set of words to mean something else entirely.

Of course, I don’t intentionally substitute words I say for words I mean. I like to think I’m honest and direct.

Sadly, I have to face the reality that sometimes I’m really not….not clear with myself, or clear with the people around me.

It’s a little disheartening to have your defenses dismantled and have to decide what to do with that information.

Another thing I do…I self-censor. I don’t confront, to the point of limiting potential for intimacy. For how can anyone really know me if I have such high walls that not much can get in, or out? Yes, I’m being polite and kind and easy to get along with. I’m also distant, though most people wouldn’t think that. I am kindness and helpfulness personified.

But steel plated none-the-less.

The teachers were very kind, encouraging, inspiring. They challenged us to live with integrity, to love and allow ourselves to be loved. They challenged us to be big.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.  ~ Richard Bach

So what do I do now?

I’m going to enlarge my dreams, quit worrying about what others think so much. No, I’m not going to go to the other extreme. But how did I come to think it’s smart or wise to argue for my limitations? Life will knock me down enough without me adding my own spirit to the process. I know that. And trying to protect myself with some advance notice that I’m not likely to be a best-selling author is not doing me or anyone else any good.

So now…I am a writer. I plan to be successful. I don’t need to project what that will look like. But I can at least forecast something positive and hopeful. Why wouldn’t I? The worst that will happen is that I’m not, in fact, successful, which won’t really matter to anyone else anyway.

And as for other ways I’ve been fearful….I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m not feeling that now. I’ve recognized that fear doesn’t help me avoid the hard things of life…it just prolongs them. It doesn’t save me anything. It makes difficulties harder.

Another side benefit of the week: there are almost 50 people who know a bit about my frailties, and I know something of theirs. That makes us a unique little community, able to support each other from time zones and continents across the world, thanks to email and phones. It’s a rare thing to make even a couple of new friends in a week’s time. But fifty?! That must be some kind of record. At least it is for me.

Well well…maybe it was easy an easy week after all.

More Alaska

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

Last week, one evening after work, we found a new park. It shouldn’t be a surprise by now, but I’m still caught off guard every time I discover an unexpected jewel. This is what we saw:

IMG_1722

IMG_1721

IMG_1720

IMG_1711

IMG_1717

The totem poles are iconic for native Alaskan culture, particularly of the Southeast tribes. I see them in the Pacific Northwest too. Each one tells a story, and the individual carvings on the poles have meanings. Their stories are beyond my ability to interpret, but they’re fascinating to see. There are a few carvers today that create these works of art, celebrating heritage and culture from the past.

This has been a traveling week. It began Monday with all sorts of bumps and changes. Weather was an issue…foggy and rainy, so the planned float plane trip to the airport became a ferry ride.

IMG_1735

At the airport, the flight had a mechanical issue, so that meant a change to another airline.

There were two connections along the way, and the last leg was one of the near misses, walking off one flight and immediately on to the next.

But we made it. Luggage made it. We started early and ended late, but even with the glitches, it all smoothed out.

Just like I like it. I love it when life works out, even with lots of opportunity for disaster.

And let’s face it…a missed flight or delayed travel rarely rises to the level of disaster. But I speak of first world problems, in which case, descriptions of near misses in everyday situations are counted as near disasters.

For the sake of clarity, I’ll acknowledge that I know the difference. But for literary license, we skirted disaster all day and somehow came through with flying colors. Those airline folks are amazing!

I’ve been making more photos of Southeast Alaska this summer…do you get tired of them? I sometimes take for granted the views and sights that surround me. But they’re worth sharing, I think.

So this is my latest group of scenes. One day I’ll look back on this time and be surprised I was here, and saw all these things. One day this will seem surreal. But for now, these are the images of daily life.
IMG_1725

IMG_1729

IMG_1731

IMG_1733

I’m doing a personal development course this coming week, beginning today, and one of the requirements is being off line. So, no cell phone use, no lap top. It makes me a little anxious to turn off, to be out of touch. What if something happens? What if someone needs me? Family has a contact number for the retreat center, and I expect the rest of the world will hardly notice I’m gone. Maybe as much as turning off and tuning out helps the individual to focus, it’s also a reminder…I’m one person, and the world can get along very well without me for a few days. I’m valuable, as all people are. But perspective is helpful, and a reminder that I’m not indispensable is a good thing, I’m thinking.

Wish me luck, I’m diving deep!

See you next week!

An authentic life

/ Sheila / 5 Comments

I like scars.

I don’t mean that I seek them, or want them. But I value them.

They’re not beautiful, but they’re meaningful.

Tonight I read one of the blogs I follow, Bedlam Farm, and I love the way the author wrote about recognizing change in his life, and accepting that he would always be picking up pieces of himself.

I feel that way too.

I haven’t had physical trauma, and in many respects, I’ve escaped a lot of other difficult life experience. But I’ve brushed up against some of life’s fires enough to be singed, to have some scars.

Over time, the scars remind me less of the wound, and more of the overcoming. They become medals in the game of life, testimony to surviving and thriving.

And in time, they fade. They become so faint…or maybe just so familiar?….that I don’t really notice them anymore. They become part of the tapestry of self that makes up each life.

I think that’s why images of elderly people smiling, all wrinkly and worn, are so charming. Those images speak of people who’ve weathered, literally, but also figuratively.

No one gets out without accumulating a few scars along the way.

Like the author of the Bedlam Farm post says, some pieces of self have to continue the process of change, healing and mending.

Somehow that’s reassuring to me.

The thing about the transformation from wound to scar is: it takes time.

Culturally, we get the message in so many ways to “get ‘er done.” “Just do it!” “No excuses!” “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

In certain contexts, I love all these statements, and I’ve used them. But they don’t work in every situation. Sometimes the best I can do is have patience, for my own failings, or for others’.

It’s a fine line, isn’t it, whether to excuse a flaw or give it grace? Whether to accept that some issues resolve and the wound heals over, the scar fades; or to acknowledge that some lessons take a lifetime to learn?

Life teaches the value of scars in unexpected ways.

Once, Riley wrote on a table I loved, carving deep grooves into the soft pine wood…not in any artistic fashion, but with the random and unlovely markings of a toddler.

At first, all I could see was the marring of the table. It wasn’t a thing of beauty any longer.

But after a while, I couldn’t look at those marks without smiling. I knew the scars were innocently put there. Riley had no concept of damaging the table by writing on it.

The longer I lived with her marks on my table, the dearer the piece became.

I think that’s the same process at work with a lot of my life’s scars…they’ve been overlaid with a patina of knowledge, and understanding, and grace. And in a shorter time than would have seemed possible, scars can take on new meaning.

The wounds and wrinkles of life, as much as the triumphs, are marks of authentic living. As we struggle to be, we stretch, we get banged up. Or sometimes someone bangs into us. Sometimes we’re gashed up. If we’re fortunate, in time we heal.

Many of my small battles don’t leave scars. The scratches and bruises of life…the small irritations of my days…they fade, and I don’t remember them.

The deeper wounds that left the scars…well, now I can appreciate them. But I no longer feel the wound. I celebrate the healing.

Summer in Southeast

/ Sheila / Leave a comment

Craig, Prince of Wales, Alaska

It’s been an unusually dry stretch in SE Alaska, and the locals are complaining a bit. Not enough rain! Although we’ve had a few showers, it’s been pleasantly dry for much of the past several weeks. That means walks in the evening, when it’s cool enough to enjoy and dry enough to lure us out.

The roads are lined with raspberry and salmonberry bushes. They grow wild here. You sometimes see folks picking on the side of the road. Jam making is big, and local wares sold at summer festivals…blueberries, huckleberries, strawberries.

Southeast Alaska is made up of small communities, mostly dotted across islands. Prince of Wales, the fourth largest island in the US, is home to Craig, Klawock, Thorne Bay, Whale Pass, Naukati, Hydaburg, Hollis, and Coffman Cove, and a sprinkling of other hamlets. POW has about 310 miles of paved road…that’s a lot of road for SE Alaska! I’m not sure how it happened, but there’s enough road here you can drive for a few hours. In my unofficial opinion, that’s probably the most paved road available in Alaska outside the interior. The entire road system on the island is approximately 2,500 miles, most of which was built in the logging era. That time’s long gone now.

It’s a big fishing community, and summer fishing tourists are good for the local economy. Lodges, restaurants, fishing guides, and other connections to the fishing industry appear for summer. Some restaurants and hotels are open year round, but many of the hospitality businesses are tied to the fishing. When the fishing is done for the season, the jobs and workers go too.

You can’t imagine how weather impacts life here. If the wind is too strong, float planes don’t fly, and that means the only way off the island is the once-a-day ferry, which leaves at 8:00 in the morning. The locals are used to it. They know to plan for it, and around it. It’s ok, as long as you’re not sick and in need of a fast way out. When the weather’s in the way, that can be bad news for anyone needing a medevac.

Somehow that doesn’t deter folks from living here. Approximately 6,000 people live on Prince of Wales. That’s a healthy size population for SE Alaska.

I’m always amazed at what’s in these small communities. This afternoon I discovered a fish smoking company, right next to a barbecue restaurant. “Restaurant” is really too grand a term. It was a small kitchen with a couple of picnic tables. Probably most of the customers just do take out.

Like a lot of businesses here, you have to know where to look before you can even think about becoming a customer. You have to know which little road to drive down, where to turn. I guess the owners know there’s not a lot of competition, and if the product’s good enough, people are willing to go out of their way to get to them.

I came away with smoked king salmon and a take away order of pulled pork. Well, it may be Alaska, but there’s some southern here!

We ended the day at the rec center with a workout. We may be here for just a couple of weeks, but we find the local places that keep routine going. Post office, bank, grocery….the daily needs and chores of life are here, like anywhere.

There’s a little scenery to go with!

IMG_1611

View from shore, Craig, Alaska

Summer color

Summer color – it’s everywhere

IMG_1613

Eagles landing

Writing the story

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

Hello friends, I’ve missed you. I hope you’ve missed me.

When life is chaotic, complicated, unsettled, up in the air, I retreat. I retreat to my shell, pull back, my instinct is to turn inward.

I don’t write.

Or rather, I write for myself, as a means of hashing out and sorting through and making sense.

But when the clouds clear and I’m on track again, I’m ready. Ready to resume, to reach out, to reconnect.

And so it is, after nearly a year in limbo, with lots of ups and downs, uncertainty, selling the house, looking for my bearings, and finding them again, I’m ready.

Over the past several months I’ve largely been quiet, and deliberately so. Since June of last year, I posted 55 times to my blog. Some months there was just one entry.

One of the consequences of this self-imposed absence is that I’ve stepped away from the habit of blogging. I’ve done that before during times of travel or some concentrated period of work, so I’ve re-launched myself before…never quite from this place, but I’ve done it.

While I’ve been on pause, I’ve learned so much. Some of it has been painful, but it’s been rich. I’ve done coaching, counseling, reading, introspection, lots of talking with family, a few friends, and with Rob.

Most of all, with Rob.

Thanks to the wisdom of many, and the grace between the two of us, we’ve weathered and survived. The issues, the questions…those are not important now. What is important is that we’ve chosen, once again.

The valley is not the place I want to live, but it is the place where growth happens.

For now, I’ve had enough growth for a while, thank you very much! I’d like a breather, and a time to live in the sunshine.

And I’d like time and focus to write. Here’s hoping.

I hope to have more than a post or two a month in the coming year.

I hope to move ahead with a custom site.

I hope to tap into some of the wisdom and experience I gained over the past year.

I hope to hear from my blogging friends, old and new, and to take my place in this online space again.

For now, I hope. I have hope. I am renewed.

~ Sheila

The Declaration of Independence

/ Sheila / 1 Comment

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:

Column 1
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

Column 2
North Carolina:
William Hooper
Joseph Hewes
John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton

Column 3
Massachusetts:
John Hancock
Maryland:
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Carter Braxton

Column 4
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris
Benjamin Rush
Benjamin Franklin
John Morton
George Clymer
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson
George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney
George Read
Thomas McKean

Column 5
New York:
William Floyd
Philip Livingston
Francis Lewis
Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon
Francis Hopkinson
John Hart
Abraham Clark

Column 6
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
William Whipple
Massachusetts:
Samuel Adams
John Adams
Robert Treat Paine
Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins
William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman
Samuel Huntington
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott
New Hampshire:
Matthew Thornton