Little Girl

/ Sheila / 3 Comments

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I saw Riley at the end of May, and she had just taken a step or two, but wasn’t really walking yet. Now she’s running, full speed, tilted a little forward most of the time, in true toddler fashion, and occasionally her top half gets ahead of her feet and she goes tumbling. But she doesn’t stop for long.

She’s a friendly little thing, not really shy (how could she be, with her gene pool?), and she’s a talker, even though we can only understand a word or two. Never mind, the child speaks in paragraphs (how could she not, with her gene pool?). And she uses the same sounds repeatedly. She knows what she’s saying to us, we’re the ones who can’t quite get it. I’m just waiting for her to interpret herself. I’m sure she has something important to share.

Her hair has grown long enough to pull back with a little barrette, if only she would allow that. But she’s not fond of things in her hair, lovely though they be. She prefers a natural look. She likes to go barefoot, pulls her shoes off almost as soon as they’re on. She sings. She loves fruit, doesn’t like meat, calls all liquid “juice,” likes to stand in the bathtub. She snuggles after a nap, needs a few moments to wake up, lifts her hands to be picked up, plays happily in the pantry, emptying boxes and stirring in an empty container with a long-handled spoon. She loves books, although her primary interest is in pulling them off the shelf. She can be a one-child demolition crew.

She rides her rocking horse pony, tools around in her little Porsche. She’s become a little girl since I saw her last. There are a few baby remnants, but they’re fading quickly.

I watched the expressions on her face, saw the uninhibited display of emotion, the pureness of a little personality that doesn’t hide anything. She’s transparent and genuine. That’s one of the pleasures of this age. Whatever you get, it’s the real thing. She hasn’t yet learned to filter her responses, or to temper her reactions.

After a short time of togetherness, I feel my heart connecting, feel myself surrendering to the joy of belonging. Riley is a part of me, and I’m a part of her. We are not primary to each other. No, that’s the parent/child role. But we occupy unique positions in the heartland, just as it should be.

Funny!

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Saw these recently…I’m not familiar with this artist*, but I like the way she thinks! I saw some cards with these quotes, and one thing lead to another. She has a plethora of items available from a variety of sources. Actually, I don’t know if these quotations are original to Shannon, but I’m giving her credit.

 
Quotes from Shannon Martin:
 
“If it weren’t for my mood swings, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.”
 
“My liquid diet is going well, so far I’ve lost two days.”
 
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
 
“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.”
 
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
 
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
 
“You can’t scare me. I have children.”
 
 
*You can find her products on Amazon.
 
 
 

The fine art of “slugging”

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

I think we’ve invented our own term for one of the things we do best, Rob and I. We sometimes say we’re slugs, when we have a lazy day around the house. Somehow that mutated to “slugging,” although I think we may be the only two people using that term to mean what we mean.

The fine art of slugging…and lest you think I exaggerate in calling it an art, let me assure you that it does rise to that level of perfection…is not really about being lazy, or having a day of non-productivity. In fact, almost the opposite is true. But it is the kind of productivity that matters. A slug day is NOT about getting home chores done, or running errands all afternoon. No, slugging requires mental effort, not too much physical output.

A good day of slugging can begin early or late. We’re early risers, morning people at heart, so we’re typically out of bed before 6:00. Coffee for me, tea for Rob, and market watching, email, news, reading. But no loud noises are allowed to disturb the quiet of this hour.

After a bit (the best measurement of time) one of us is hungry. Breakfast signals a break to talk, share, catch up. If we’re at home, we sit in front of the windows in the sun porch, watch the traffic on the water. Sometimes we make a plan for the day at this point. It can be weather dependent, or there may be an errand that has to be fitted into the day. But our best slug days are lengthy stretches of “a little of this, a little of that.” Usually one of us has something we’re researching online. One of us fiddles with plans for lunch or dinner so we know what to expect in terms of timing, or if we have to include a market outing before evening.

And always, after the early morning quiet, we have music going.

Sometimes we plan things we don’t do. We think we’ll get moving and go do a workout. Go for a picnic, or a walk around the lake. Or we think we’ll start an afternoon project. And sometimes we do. But not always. That’s the beauty of a slug day. If you’re doing something that holds your interest, or having one of those rambling conversations that wraps around one thing and leads to another, and another…it’s ok that the afternoon plans don’t materialize. Part of the charm is the flexibility we allow ourselves.

The key is that you have to be in sync to do this. You can’t be on two different clocks. If one of you is on whirlwind time, and the other on island time, you’re not going to have a day of slugging. You’re not going to wonder, late afternoon, where the day went. And you have to know that spending a day like this together is guilt-free. This is just as important as painting the bathroom or doing the laundry or bathing the dog. Actually, it’s more important, because not only is it a mental change of pace, but doing it together is the thing that makes it special. I can never do this successfully without Rob. Inevitably I let myself get busy with the ought-to, have-to, need-to lists. Slugging together means spending the hours together, sharing a bit here and there, pausing to exchange a glance, a smile, a thought.

The best slugging is really unplanned time. Like many of the good things in life, it just sort of happens. About the only thing you can do to set the stage is to clear your calendars so that you don’t have obligations that interfere. After that, it’s just one of those things. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not. But when it does, you have a day of magic, out of nothing at all. Just time together, a little music, simple food, reading, talking, laughing.

Slugging…I highly recommend it for your mental health, your love life, for feeling satisfied with life. It’s relaxing, but more than that, it’s fulfilling. And the nice thing is, doesn’t cost a penny, doesn’t take special equipment, doesn’t take more than your time and your heart.

Thirty years today

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

We’re celebrating our 30th(!) anniversary today. Where did all that time go? It’s the never-ending question humans pose to themselves, to each other. I don’t have the answer, anymore than the next person. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago that we two babies (20 year-olds) got married.

We’ve been fortunate to do some amazing things in our time together. We’ve traveled, had wonderful vacations and experiences. We’ve shared time with family and with friends. We’ve celebrated in some memorable ways. Our most recent celebratory event was our sky-diving experience to mark Rob’s 50th birthday in June. (I blogged about it here.)

And what are we doing for this major milestone? Well, it may seem tame, a little quiet. We’re doing an RV trip, just us two. Spending a few days in Sedona, AZ. Biking and shopping, enjoying quiet dinners and a movie or two.

But the magic is that it will be just us two celebrating. The scenery, shopping, restaurants…it’s all fun. But the main event is all about one word: together. Believe me, spending the majority of the past two years in a commuter lifestyle has made me appreciate together like never before. Doesn’t have to be fancy or exciting to make me happy…I just want together.

Happy Anniversary to my one and only Rob ~ Sheila

Ah, Sedona!

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Snoopy Rock

This is beautiful red rock country, mountainous, with elevations ranging 4,800 and above. This is also a mecca for hikers, rock climbers, mountain bikers, and outdoor enthusiasts of all kinds. The communities of this area…Sedona, Oak Creek, and Jerome, are all a bit different, as you would expect, and each capitalizes on the sun, Native American art, pioneer spirit, the magnificent scenery, and shopping, shopping, shopping!

Sunday afternoon we went to a state park just out of town called “Slide Rock,” and joined others who were out for a cool and natural version of a water park. Slide Rock has natural rock formations in a shallow creek that allow you to slide through the water, just like you would at a water park. Only this slide has surroundings of beautiful red rock cliffs and rock formations all around it. It’s a popular kid destination, and a lot of families were there for the day with coolers, water floats, and assorted members of multi-generations gathered to enjoy a sunny Arizona afternoon.

Stephanie, Matt & Riley at Slide Rock

Sedona has a plethora of spiritual and psychic centers, and there are “vortex” points where there is a concentration of energy. You can seek counsel or guidance if that’s your interest, and with the variety of places offering these services in town, you shouldn’t have to stand in line too long.

There are “Pink Jeep” tours that take you on different sight-seeing rounds, looking at the rock formations that have inspired names like “Snoopy Rock” or “Coffee-Pot” or “Castle Rock.” You can rent bikes if you don’t have your own, go on horseback rides, or do it the old-fashioned way and hike the canyons.

Yesterday we stopped at the Chamber of Commerce to pick up some info on bike trails, and a gully-washer rain, the likes of which I hadn’t seen before, came down while we were inside. So we waited it out, watching as huge drops of rain and hail beat down, and literally created a white-out so that the magnificent views were obliterated. Let me tell you, Ketchikan rain has nothing on a true Arizona monsoon storm! Fortunately we weren’t prisoners too long. These storms are short and sweet, and keep the temps in a manageable range of low 90s…not bad for August in the high desert.

Tomorrow we’re going on a bike ride. We’ve hauled bikes all over this country, and I’m sorry to say don’t use them as much as we should. But in such a setting as this, it seems essential to get out and see nature in a more personal way.

Ah, vacation…the time of slow pace, discovery, adventure…the sweet life!

When you live on an island in Alaska

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

If you’ve ever lived on a small island, (and particularly, a place with a challenging climate…can you say rainforest?…you’ll understand, and if not, you’ll have to take my word for this…

~Every trip out is exciting!
~The Seattle airport seems like home.
~There’s so much traffic, so many people in the lower 48…
~The stores are huge!
~Groceries are CHEAP!
~I fill my gas tank about once a month in Ketchikan; we’ll be at the gas station a little more often this week.
~Aahhh…dinner options…where to eat?! Choice is a bit limited in Ketchikan.
~Time to go shopping in person instead of on line.
~Sunshine returns to summer!
~Rob can golf while we’re “south”
~We can drive from anywhere to anywhere.

Perspective: This week, it’s all a matter of place!

~The food court at the Seattle airport…

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A little in-between

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Made it through the week. Work is caught up (for the moment). Chores are done. Packing is finished. And tomorrow I begin ten days off, ten days of family time, ten days of sun and warmth. It’s good to have the breaks to look forward to, to escape the routine and the day-to-day. This next week is not about a luxury resort or exotic vacation. Those are great, but not essential. What’s essential is what is coming. Time to be with people I love (some of them anyway) and time to be still; time to experience; time to step outside myself and my norm.

Tonight is a little in-between space. I have all the satisfaction of completing my lists to leave town and all the anticipation of the week to come. Rob says some of the best time in life is the in-between. I think when he’s said that he is referring to the bigger gaps, the gaps that come between geographical moves or changes of jobs…the BIG spaces in life. But tonight, this small in-between is refreshing too. I anticipate seeing him tomorrow at the Phoenix airport, after a three week absence, and the special joy that comes when we’re together again. I think about seeing Stephanie and Matt, and of course little Riley…that little! I think about the small gifts I’m taking down, and the fun of sharing. I look forward to whatever we decide to do next week, Rob and I, as we luxuriate in a few days of no schedule and no pressure. I’m excited to hear about his week with Alex, and what they did together.

The sweetness of life is captured in moments, and we’re fortunate if we recognize those moments as they occur. Sometime I’ve realized, looking back at a time past, that I was really happy; that I was in a good place. Tonight I’m thinking that it can work facing future too. I know that I will be in a good place in the next few days, that I’ll say again, “this is the good stuff.” I like to know it’s coming, and to appreciate those moments in advance.

So, off to bed, got an early start to my day tomorrow. I’m in the in-between tonight, but soon I’ll be in the moment.
photo from here

My cash-free life

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

So, I’m traveling Friday, and of course I have a list of to-dos before I leave…plans for work, plans for packing, plans for a few things I’m taking care of around the house. The most important thing on my list? Now don’t laugh…this is a reflection of my cash-free lifestyle…I have to stop at an ATM and get cash for the airport ferry.

Airport ferry you say? What’s that about? Well, some very clever engineers, way back in the 70s, decided to build Ketchikan’s commercial airport…on a different island. Yep, that’s right, the ONLY available location for an airport that was feasible in this area had to be on a separate strip of land, across the Tongass Narrows that separates the island Ketchikan is on from the island home of the local airport. And how do you reach the airport? Is there a bridge? NO, there is not. If you recall the infamous “bridge to nowhere” issue from the last presidential election, that was about Ketchikan. No bridge across to the airport, but the local government graciously runs a small ferry that crosses twice an hour, for the small sum of $5 per person if you walk on. If you drive across, the fee is higher.

Now aside from the irritant that I have to back up my time to leave to include the ferry schedule, which is annoying in itself, the ferry operates on a CASH ONLY basis. How is that possible in this day and age? I don’t keep cash, don’t use cash, literally go for months, unless I travel out of town by myself, without seeing so much as a nickel, much less a dollar. The fact that I have to obtain cash to get to the airport is a special irritant to me. This isn’t about the $5 fee, which seems reasonable enough. It’s about the fact that it has to be paid in cash.

I keep a $100 bill in my purse, an emergency-only fund. But if I break it, that defeats the purpose of it being for emergencies only. Because then it would only be a matter of time before it would be nickled and dimed away, on this, that, or whatever. I learned a long time ago, before the earth’s crust cooled and when I had small children who loved happy meals, (and before fast food chains accepted credit cards) that if I didn’t have cash on me, I could be firm and say, “not today, Mommy doesn’t have any money.” And they didn’t know I could have gotten money. It was an effective way to keep us out of fast food restaurants, and to keep money from flowing out of my veins.

But wait, you say, you don’t have to actually be cashless to resist spending money. Well, that’s true, and being cashless doesn’t mean I don’t spend. Of course not. But it helps me be thoughtful about what I spend, and how I spend. One of my personal spending guidelines is that I don’t buy anything on a credit card for less than $5…that just seems unfair to the merchant, who has to pay a fee for credit card usage. For small expenditures like a Starbucks coffee, I buy a Starbucks gift card so I don’t have to pay in cash or ask the merchant to pay a fee for a very small credit card charge. Tips for meals or services go on my card, and there is really nothing that I buy, no where that I shop, that I can’t pay with my VISA.

The benefit to me, besides giving me an almost complete history of my spending habits and actual expenses, is that I use a card that gives me airline miles. And I use those miles. I pay the balance each month, so I’m not in credit card debt, and I make the card work for me. I figure, if I’m buying a gallon of milk, I’m flying on that milk. Or someone is. It’s a way to get a little more bang for my buck, and when you live in Alaska, flying becomes an important part of life.

I use direct deposit for my salary. I get a digital copy of my pay stub. I write a few checks each month, primarily for charitable contributions, with an occasional check written on a health savings account for routine care. But that’s it. Everything else is paid through my credit card. Except the airport ferry. They got me, and I can’t fight city hall. What would happen if I forgot to have cash on hand? Well, if I’m with Rob, not a problem. He seldom uses cash, but he always has cash. And if I’m not with him? Well, I might be stranded. You pay the ferry fee after you ride across to the airport island, but before you enter the airport…a real no man’s land. No ATM, no credit or debit cards accepted, and nothing but a grouchy woman in the booth to say, “Sorry, but rules are rules!” No, I’ve never gotten caught in the ferry wilderness…but I wonder what happens to poor souls who do. They’re probably still wandering about on the airport side, looking for a friendly face, an ATM, a five dollar bill on the ground.

And I wonder…how many people out there are like me, going through life without seeing, touching, or using real money on a regular basis? Sometimes I read about saving for purchases by emptying your change into a jar, and that amazes me. Do people really still have change every day? And why? I’ve lived this way so long, I’m not sure if I’m in the mainstream or an oddity.

Didn’t expect that

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Had a first yesterday from the Salvation Army: they said they weren’t accepting donations! No, no, it wasn’t anything personal, although I’ve been a frequent flyer there in the past few months. They’re just doing a little rearranging, so I have to come back later in the week. Uh huh, a likely story! But I’ll attempt to drop off again in a day or two. Really, it’s all useful stuff, mostly knick-knacks I’ve outgrown the look of, or books that can go to someone else’s shelf.

I got home to find that since I left the house this morning for work, the front step bannister developed a need for a new paint job…was just puzzling over that when I realized what happened. I had the deck and steps power washed and obviously a little more came off than I anticipated. Fortunately I have matching paint on hand; now I just need a sunny couple of hours to touch up from the clean up.

I was weeding in my front flower bed over the weekend and discovered I have a small strawberry patch; who knew? I find new things every time I work in the flowers. Things grow so lushly it’s easy to miss small plantings. And the raspberry bushes that I thought were not producing…I went out on the back deck to inspect the power wash job and see what had been scrubbed away there. Happily for me, the deck and the paint on the house is intact. AND there are raspberries ripening.

I had two friends stop by my office on Monday. One brought a home-baked cookie as a thank you from his wife. We went berry picking together last week. The other brought me a locally grown rose. It smelled so sweet, and reminded me of my mother’s garden.

Had a little technology coup with my iPad. I figured out how to upload photos from my camera card without having to transfer from a computer. Turns out that a camera kit I bought does the trick, making it a breeze to add photos to enjoy on my screen or to use with my blog. That was easy!

Got upgraded to first class for my flights down to Arizona. I love that: I must admit it has been fun to be a frequent Alaska Airlines traveler and get the free upgrades.

My big planter of lettuces is growing amazingly well. I wasn’t sure if they would make it in a pot, but each of my three leafy varieties is thriving. Can’t wait to harvest and have a salad made with my own greens!

Another iPad find…I downloaded an app that turns the whole screen into a writing surface. You can write with your finger, or use a stylus that is specially designed to work with the surface of the tablet. I’ve seen some blog posts lately about going paperless using this technology. I’m not sure I’m that advanced yet…for one thing, I don’t want to wag my iPad around with me when I’m out and about, so I don’t think I’ll be putting my to dos or my grocery list on my screen. But this definitely brings a new element into play, and I’m excited to see how it changes my iPad experience.

Little surprises, little finds…sometimes good, sometimes exasperating. But however small, the victories and challenges pique my interest, keep me going, bring a smile to my face. Or not, but that’s part of the charm.

What didn’t you expect today?

Monday, but Friday’s coming!

/ Sheila / 4 Comments

Yes, it’s Monday. Not a bad one at that, although it’s another cool and rainy day here in SE Alaska. I’m hoping August brings some consistent summer days, because July hasn’t come through with sun or warmth.

But don’t get me started on the weather!

As my grandmother would say, I’m wishing my life away this week, mentally hurrying the days on toward Friday. And though Friday is the beginning of the weekend, it’s not the weekend I’m waiting for. This Friday I’ll head to Phoenix to reconnect with Rob, who’s been out and about visiting family in California, and is spending this week with our son in Ft Campbell, Kentucky. Next week we’ll be in Sedona, AZ, soaking up some sun, doing a little hiking and eating, and enjoying vacation mode together.

And a bonus: we get to see little Riley, have a “Riley sighting” on our way to Sedona, and another short visit on our return trip. isn’t it lucky for us that she lives in the very state we’re visiting?! Stephanie gives me updates on her “firsts:” today she tried a French fry, and watched a few minutes of “The Lion King.” She is saying a word or two, and has a favorite stuffed animal now. She brings a book to be read, and likes toys that make animal sounds. I saw her at her first birthday in April. Now, three months later, I think she’s rapidly becoming a little girl and leaving her real baby days behind.

This is the joy of summer, anticipating luxurious days of leisure and relaxing, and time to connect, and reconnect; to move slowly, to drink it all in.

Whether you’re looking forward to a long awaited destination vacation or are planning a laid-back week with kids or grand-kids, I hope you’ll tune out work and worry and invest in the moment. Invest in the people, and the joy of days without pressure, without rush; with the fun of serendipity.

I’m looking forward to long talks and good dinners with Rob; lazy mornings and quiet nights; hiking in amazing red-rock canyons; to dividing my time between my reading list on my Kindle, and the little books on Riley’s shelf. We’re going to the park, going out for a Riley picnic, and looking for a little girl “happy” that will light up the face of a 15-month-old.

I’ll be the one with the big smile. I’m connecting on Friday. It’s going to be a good week!