attitude

Always 11

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

It’s almost the witching hour…11:11 on 11-11-11. Of course we already had a minute of this time today…this morning, but I was at work, so for me that didn’t count. I’m marking my significant moment as the evening one.

You have to admit it’s a great number. Like wonderful alliteration with words, 11-11-11 is memorable, for oh so many reasons. Easy to remember, primary, and perfect numeric poetry, symbolism and magic, all wrapped up in one. Any way you express it, all wrapped up in 1.

Years ago when our kids were early elementary school ages, Rob played a math quiz game with them at dinner. He’d give different combinations of numbers using addition and subtraction, and they would do the math to give the answer. And the answer was always 11. That became a family slogan (I think the phrase is from a movie too, but I’m sure we had it first!) and we’ve been surprised at how often 11 has been a significant number in our lives. Not that we’re superstitious or anything. I mean, we’re not picking lottery numbers with 11; 11 is not my password. But it turns up often enough that I notice – and wonder.

Today is also Veterans Day, and as the mother of a veteran, a veteran looking for a job, it holds greater significance to me than in the past. I appreciate all veterans, but viewing my son in that role brings the day and the reason for the day into sharp focus. I wonder, do I only value things that touch me somehow? And the answer comes, reassuringly, no, but like anything in life, a personal connection increases awareness and insight. So I see veterans with new gratitude, new appreciation for sacrifices. I see differently because I see through my son.

So, an important day on the calendar: a date that will be easily remembered for the births and marriages that occurred this day…easily remembered for whatever happened. Hope you made a great memory, celebrated, jumped for joy over something in your life.

As for me? I was given a great gift today. Something I thought was arranged for future work fell through. I was disappointed, deflated, dejected. And then I realized: this loss will push me more toward the kind of work I really want to do. The opportunity that evaporated was a safety net, a little bit of a sure thing (so I thought) for my finances as I step away from a “regular” job. But the reality is that I need the push to be out there, to make my own way. So, though it wasn’t what I expected when I got up this morning, 11-11-11 delivered. And it will be memorable for me. The best part? A husband who has my back, who took me to dinner, and toasted with me to our connection, and to 11-11-11.

A normal day

/ Sheila / 5 Comments

Today was typical. Weather for SE Alaska in November: rain, rain, more rain. Work: standard day. With all the changes on my horizon, still, my days are fairly predictable. (Update on this in January when I’ve turned things upside down by transitioning to a project-based work life and stream of income.) Family is well, relatively speaking; friends are well, as far as I know. Although some things in my life are ever-evolving, a never-ending work in progress, I’m able to recognize a measure of stability. And I’ve experienced enough roller coaster moments in life to appreciate the periods of relative calm.

Thank God for normal days. Not boring, not stressful, just normal.

This quote was in my email this morning:

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not
pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. One day I
shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or
stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than
all the world, your return.

~ Mary Jean Iron

Date night

/ Sheila / 6 Comments

Last night Rob and I had a date. Tuesday night, nothing particularly special about it. But we made it special. We made it movie night, grocery night, talk night.

Last year I read the book, The Help, and like so many, loved it for its humor and touches of tragedy, yet over-riding triumph of the human spirit. It is a wonderful story of awakening minds, standing up for what is right, and the dignity of spirit that can’t be diminished by work or position, however lowly those may be. Character shines through.

Ketchikan has a two-screen theater, but I’ve noticed that we’re consistently behind the rest of the world by about six weeks with movie release dates. So while everyone else was seeing this movie back in August, we are only just now seeing it in October.

I grew up in Mississippi. But I’m happy to say that I didn’t witness the types of scenes that the movie portrays. I know they happened. I’ve heard stories here and there. But I didn’t grow up with a maid in my home. So I can relate to some things, and yet I can’t.

The southern accents, the homes, so much of the movie rang true to me. Although I don’t remember the specific historic time (I was a bit young, less than three years old when the events in the movie occurred), the general look and feel seemed authentic. Some of the events really happened, of course. Medgar Evers was killed in June of 1963. The civil rights movement wasn’t an era to be studied in a history class, it was a current event. There are other signs of the times that seem strange viewed from 2011: the hairstyles, the dress, the cars. In several scenes people are smoking. But it isn’t the smoking itself that catches the attention: it’s the location. In one scene, a receptionist at the local newspaper office is smoking, on the job, during work hours. That would never happen today. The painful discussions of the practical side of segregation would not occur today. No one is sending sanitation initiatives to government officials in 2011.

But the best parts of the movie are the timeless bits: the scenes that show people living up to what is best in themselves, challenging others to see the value of humans, not of color; and recognition of the most basic values of life. Children, women, the elderly, minorities, and the poor are all celebrated in this film. But it is not done in a condescending or patronizing way. The emphasis is on the worth of people in general, the recognition that all have value and a contribution to make.

The film is also about redemption and growth. The main characters all grow throughout the story, and we are allowed to see them shifting their opinions, embracing a different view of life. In the end, the movie is about claiming the potential we have, and treating people right along the way.

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Monday calling

/ Sheila / 3 Comments

It’s Monday…here we go!

“I do not fix problems.
I fix my thinking.
Then problems fix themselves.”

~ Louise Hay

Is this someone you know?

/ Sheila / 3 Comments

A friend shared this quote with me recently: “Often wrong, never in doubt.” No, no, it wasn’t about me. It was just shared with me. I’m too often in doubt for this to ever apply to me. But I immediately thought of a few acquaintances who should have this for their personal motto. Bet you’ve known a few of these folk too.

Well, a little humor on a Friday is a good thing…so next time you’re with someone who knows all, you can think of this and enjoy a little smile to yourself. Happy Friday!

Too late to apologize

/ Sheila / 2 Comments

There’s a song I hear on the radio, “Apologize.” The chorus says “it’s too late to apologize.” I wonder if that’s really true. It can be too late for apology to repair, but I think as long as there is life, there is opportunity to apologize. Maybe, in the end, an apology is just words, and if there is no power in the words to bring healing or resolution, then the apology is meaningless?

But I don’t think so. Some hurts may not be healed with words, but that doesn’t mean that the words are not important. Validation is important, and isn’t that what saying “I’m sorry” is really about? One person saying to another, “You were right, and I was wrong. I didn’t see before, but now I do.” Or in the words of the immortal song, “I once was blind, but now I see.”

Words are only words. But they are powerful, none the less. An apology is a beginning, or maybe an ending. But most of all, it is acknowledgement. Saying the words can be cleansing and healing for the person saying them. And after all, if you have an apology to make, you can do your part. But you can’t choose how it will be received or if the words will have ability to change the situation. That is for the person receiving the apology to determine.

Some lessons are long to learn. I used to think that if I stepped up, admitted I was wrong, said the right words, was sincere, then of course all would be forgiven. But it doesn’t work like that, at least not all the time. Now my realization is this: just as giving an apology doesn’t guarantee that the receiver will accept it, rejection of apology doesn’t change the fact that it was given. And that it is meaningful, even if only to the person saying “I’m sorry.”