Need to nurture

I have a need to nurture. I’ve known that for a long time, but I’m sometimes embarrassed to admit it. Does this mean I’m not done mothering? Or am I somehow seeking to make myself necessary to others by providing comfort? I like to bake, and I frequently take food to work to share. Does this mean that I’m needy, looking for approval? It can be confusing. Am I giving comfort, or seeking it?

Well, like many answers in life, I’m guessing the truth is somewhere in the middle. I am giving comfort with food, or by doing a favor, or by…(fill in the blank here). And of course I enjoy the approval that comes my way when my food is appreciated, or I know I’ve made a difference in someone’s day by helping out.

But I also think the answer is more complex than either of these obvious choices. The truth is, I am comforted and nurtured when I give to others. That doesn’t make me a saint or anything special. In fact, it could be argued that because this behavior feeds me emotionally, my giving is more about me than others. But it’s really a nice balance between the two. Everyone has strengths, and I believe that strength is a reflection of behavior or attitude that flows naturally. My strength reflects my core.

I know people who are wonderful leaders, decision-makers, clear-thinking and strong enough to create their vision for work, mission, family. I know others who are detail oriented, dedicated to seeing the smallest task through to completion. I know people who dream big and see the goal to be met. Each personality has strength, and mine happens to be sharing comfort, nurturing when I can, in small ways or large.

It took me a long time to accept that about myself, to recognize bringing comfort to others as a strength. It seemed like I was just being nice, when all along, I was being strong. Good to know!

4 thoughts on “Need to nurture

  1. That is some wonderful insight there.
    We are quite similar … I love to cook but … I really love to cook for others. It takes a lot to recognize our inherent strengths … and that we all contribute in our own way.

    Cheers! MJ


    • You know, I realized in the past few years that I like to eat, but if I am cooking for just me…cereal and grilled cheese are ok. Being an empty nester really changed the way I cook. It is so much fun to make cookies or treats or make a great dinner for a family, but it just doesn’t happen if I’m home alone. When Rob travels, I really cut down to minimum. But baking gives me an outlet that’s easy to share with others…always a good thing! By the way, I’ve made several batches of your Fabulosity Squares…haven’t had to eat those by myself!



  2. Sheila,
    I think you are wise to recognize your strengths and find ways to use them to please yourself AND others. And I bet those who get to enjoy your treats are appreciative. I’m going to have to check out some of your recipes!


    • Hey, I’m a work in progress! I’m only 50, you know! Seriously, some things seems so natural, you don’t really think about why you do them…until one day you wonder…happy cooking to us all!



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