I’m on the ferry, traveling from Ketchikan to Bellingham, WA. I’m bringing my car out; my car, which I bought new when we moved to Ketchikan in 2009.
My Subaru Tribeca has just over 14,000 miles on it.
Ah, the beauty of living on a small island! Well, the miles will add up quickly enough now.
As of Wednesday, I don’t live in Alaska. I’ll still be working there on a regular basis, part of each month. But I don’t live there any longer.
It’s a beautiful state, and I’ve learned so much during my years there. I’ve gained and I’ve lost. I’ve known joy and sorrow.
A lot of my reasons for moving my hub back to the lower 48 are about family. I want to be closer, and I want travel to be easier and less expensive.
I’m appreciative for the good that came out of my Alaska time, and regretful for the things that weren’t good. But to be fair, good and bad happens throughout life, regardless of location, and I don’t want to irrationally blame an entire state for the ups and downs I experienced there.
Still, I think my frontier adventures are more behind me than before me. The work that I’ll continue to do is very structured, and will likely be time limited.
Today I’m watching the water and mountains of the Inside Passage go by from the upper deck of a state ferry, and I’m thinking about so many things…people and amazing experiences that were part of life in Alaska.
Was it a good thing to move there in 2006? Or would I have been wiser to continue life in Colorado?
Impossible to know for sure…but I’ve learned that good things come and pass, and bad things come and pass…it is my task to keep my balance, to respond to events with love, grace, and calm, and to recognize that sometimes we are only seeing the middle of the story when it looks like we are seeing the end.
The choice is not to be passive; it is to be intentional and deliberate, to be responsive rather than reactive. There is a difference in the two.
One of the things I was challenged to do at the November meditation retreat is to be patient, just observe, and then do the right thing. That’s it. That’s all I can do, and even that I can only do as I have ability. I don’t always get the waiting right…and I don’t always make the right choice.
But that is the intention, and that’s where I find myself today. I don’t know how the next chapter will unfold. There is no definite decision as to next home or hub. For right now it is Seattle, partly by default and convenience. But that could change.
As I sit each day, practicing the art of meditation, I remind myself that this is part of the work of life…sitting with patience, giving events opportunity to develop, and then choosing a path.
Sitting on the ferry, watching the water flow past, I’m in the right place.
My thoughts are a bit jumbled here, there seems so much to say that would be too much, so I’m going to practice the waiting with you. I know the place you are, the in between. It’s scary and exciting, an ever turning tide of emotions. Looking with waiting and wonderment with you.
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What a moment in time this is for you! I am holding my breath in anticipation, waiting to hear what’s next and silently saying “way to go, Sheila” as you soldier forth. MJ
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I read your words and, at times, see our footprints on the same paths and our thoughts with the same wonderment; all the while, hanging on with patience in anticipation of tomorrow. Godspeed.
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